Fools in love
by montgomry
Summary: "Do you think things would have been different if you had kids?" / After going home on an ordinary day and finding his wife in bed with his best friend, Derek Shepherd is completely shaken and flees to Seattle with his 5-year-old daughter. There the two have a new beginning of life and everything changes even more with the inclusion of a new face. / [It's an Addek story at all].
1. 1

_**A.N.: **__I wrote this story in Portuguese on wattpad and I received some requests to translate it into English, but I don't know if my English is good enough for that. That's why I deleted the first version "Daddy's little girl". I thought it was sounding out of context 'cause I don't really know English and US customs enough. But people who were reading it wrote messages to me asking me to update the story again and I thought about doing it on Wattpad, where I write in Portuguese, but some people are unfamiliar with that site, so I decided to review this story and post it here again with this title "Fools in love" for two reasons: one, I always wanted to write a story with this title and I think (you'll see) this fits a lot on Addison and Derek this storyline, and two, I was thinking "Daddy's little girl" was such a cliché title. Yeah, I didn't think a lot about the title when I wrote it at least THREE or FOUR years ago. So, that's it. If there are some grammatical or context mistakes, I'm sorry. I hope you guys comment on what you think. __This story is set in Grey's episodes, aiming at a fresh take on the original story, so the original characters from Grey's and Private Practice are created by Shonda Rhimes and don't belong to me, just like some situations. Also, don't care if there're any contradictions in medical terms or situations, I'm not a medical student or doctor. Maybe you'll feel it's take so long to Addison and Derek be happy, but I promise it will be an Addek happy end, I just wanted the story to make sense. A lot of people liked it in my country, so I'd like you'd too. _

_Thank you for read it._

* * *

_**You screw my best friend and all you have to say is "He was just here"?**_

That was Friday night. The day Mark used to wait the entire week as if the others weren't exactly like that. They used to be. Before his best friend became that workaholic one who just thinks about surgery and totally forgets about his family. Before his best friend takes advantage of his inability to say no, to ask him countless favors. Before Derek got used to sending messages by interns telling him what his night would be like.

"Derek, what's that message Rabbit told me?"

Rabbit was a nickname for an intern he didn't even know the real name. Why he would? He didn't like to work with interns anyway.

"You don't have to spend the whole night with her…" Derek explained without taking his eyes off his job, "Just… Stay there until Addison comes home."

He knew it was night and at that minute he should be changing his clothes to meet his five-year-old daughter, who should already be sitting next to her nanny in the hospital waiting room. But that day, everything had gone out of his control again and he'd have, once again, break the promise he had made to spend more time with her. However, he had Mark, his best friend, and to his luck, Mark loved children much more than he loved women.

"I had plans for tonight that didn't include princesses or anything your daughter likes to do at night." Mark said.

"You're her godfather and... You know it's not hard to take care of her. You just need to give her something to eat, then put her to bed." Derek said, "I'm sure Addison will get home before she goes to bed. Don't worry."

"I don't **want to**! Okay?"

"What's the problem, Mark? Did she do something the other times you took care of her?"

"No!"

"So…?"

Mark was silent. Derek stood working, waiting for his friend's answer.

"She did nothing… I just thought… **You** have to stay with her. She's **your** daughter!"

"She said something to you." Derek concluded, taking his eyes off the patient's brain to look at his friend again, "What did she say?"

"She didn't say anything, she's sweet… It's just… You have to spend more time with your family!"

"Mark… Not now… Are you gonna take care of her or not?"

"Derek… I don't think so… Would you like me to find someone to replace you? I can…"

"Why don't you wanna stay with my daughter? What's wrong with her?" Derek asked.

"It's not Katie, I told you…"

"So what?!"

_**"It's your wife…"**_ Mark replied mentally, feeling like an idiot while Derek looked at him curiously. He didn't usually lie to his best friend, so he had the impression that he would perceive any lie he might say. Derek kept waiting for his answer, but the truth couldn't be said.

"Okay. I'm gonna take her home, but this is the **last** time I'm gonna do that." Mark said, "You have to spend more time with your family."

"Okay, Mark. I'm gonna follow your advice… Now… Go fast because she's already there."

Mark left the OR throwing the mask in the trash nearly the door and punching the air for, once again, not being able to say no to his best friend. After he changed the dark green uniform of Mount Sinai Hospital, he walked to the main hall where he soon saw the dark-haired girl sitting next to a blond woman with curly hair. He walked over to her.

"Uncle Mark!"

She stood up and jumped on his arms. Mark had no children, so he was very connected to his best friend's daughter. He spun the girl in the air, then put her down.

"How are you, monkey?"

"I'm fine. I'm waiting for my daddy."

"Hm… Your dad is dressed as a super surgeon in the OR saving someone's dad's life."

"Is he gonna be late?" the girl asked in a voice that sounded angelic.

"I'll take you home, monkey." Mark said, knowing he would disappoint her.

"Again? But daddy promised…" she said in that thin voice that made Mark's heart crushing.

"I know, monkey, but… You know how this works, don't you?" Mark asked putting some strands of hair behind her ear, "He'll go home soon and your mother too. Come on?"

He could see Katie didn't like that idea. For a five-year-old, she was so expressive like Addison, or Bizzy, or any Forbes Montgomery he'd ever met. But she had no choice, then she nodded and said goodbye to her nanny. Mark took her in his arm, walked until his car, then drove to the brownstone where his friends had been living in Manhattan since they were married. That was a great house, in one of Manhattan's best-located neighborhoods. Not so far from Central Park, the best place in the entire world according to the five-years-old sweetest girl beside him, or from the hospital, the best place in the entire world presumably according to his workaholic best friend.

He opened the front door with Katie's keys, and they entered.

For most people it seemed unthinkable that a five-year-old girl had all the keys of her house, but for Katie that had been a part of her life since she understood herself as a human being. Her parents were great surgeons, with almost no time at all, so it was more than normal for her to have a little more responsibility to herself than her friend from school. She used to have the house's keys for a case like that when both her parents would be work on an emergency and she had that come home with someone else.

Mark turned on the light and took off his coat, while Katie sat on the couch, leaving her backpack aside. She quickly took the remote control and turned on the TV.

"What do you think of ordering pizza?" Mark asked, sitting down beside her.

"Can we?"

"I don't know… Why we couldn't?"

"Mommy says it's bad for people's health to eat pizza before gonna bed. Is she wrong?"

"_**People don't have to question parents, right?"**_

"No, monkey. Your mom isn't wrong, but I'm sure you eat healthy food every day, so eat pizza **once** in a lifetime can't kill you."

Katie laughed and shook her head.

"Let's order pizza!" Mark said taking his cell phone, "Which do you prefer?"

The girl didn't answer, she just kept looking sadly at her uncle, which made his heart breaks in pieces.

"Come on, monkey! I know you'd prefer your father over me, but you know… I can replace your father in **this**, but not in the OR."

"But he promised…"

"Yes, he'd promised for **him**, but not for the person who needed him. He didn't plan that. He really wanted to be with you. Put a smile on that pretty face. I'll order our pizza that will be…?"

"**Cheese**!"

"That!" Mark said, opening hands for a high five.

Katie remained sad watching tv while Mark was talking on the phone ordering their pizza. After he left the phone aside, he asked the girl to help bring what they needed to eat in the living room. Of course, he didn't really need her help to get two glasses and two pairs of napkins to wait for pizza, but he wanted to distract her with something.

"Uncle Mark, are you gonna work tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow is Saturday. Uncle Mark never works on Saturday, monkey."

That was a gift to be a plastic surgeon. All work schedules. No emergency in sight.

"Why?" he asked.

"Can you go with me to Central Park?"

"With me? You wanna go with me?"

"Yeah."

"And why don't you go with your dad and mom?"

"Because I don't know if they'll wanna... I mean, I don't know if my **dad **will wanna. If he doesn't go to the hospital, maybe he'll wanna stay home because he'll be tired and..."

"Let's do it this way: you insist **a lot** on your father. So if there's no way, I'll come to get you. Okay?!"

The girl nodded, smiling. Then she surprised Mark with a hug.

"I love you, Uncle Mark."

"I love you too, monkey."

They soon heard the bell and Mark ran to the door to get the pizza. He put it in the middle of the coffee table and ate with the little girl. She laughed when Mark dirties her face with tomato sauce and grimaced at him while he photographed her with his cell phone.

Mark had a special connection with Katie since she was born. As he had always wanted to have kids, but never found the right person for that, he used to treat his best friend's daughter as his own daughter. He used to take her for a walk at least once a week, and this became more and more frequent as Derek increased his dedication to his career, running out of time for his daughter and his wife.

It didn't take long for Katie to feel tired. Mark helped her with pajamas and wrapped her in the bed after kissing her forehead. The girl looked into her godfather's blue eyes and smiled, then yawned.

"You're very tired…" Mark said.

"Uncle Mark, if you wanna come home after I sleep, you can. Mommy'll arrive soon."

Mark smiled and stroked his goddaughter's black hair.

"Sleep, monkey. Uncle Mark'd never leave you alone at home."

He stood there until he realized she had fallen asleep. Then he went downstairs to clear the mess they had made in the living room. He was putting the dirty paper napkins inside the round pizza box, when he heard the key stirring from the outside to open the door, then the doorknob turning. He stopped what he was doing to see Addison and Derek coming home, but only Addison walked through the door, with a tired countenance, coming down from the heeled shoes she used to wear.

She set her purse and coat aside on a piece of furniture and shivered to find Mark standing in front of her, where she was supposed to expect Derek to be.

"Mark?!"

"Hi, Addie."

"Is Derek upstairs with Katie?" she asked.

"No... He hasn't arrived yet."

Addison was silent.

"But he said he was gonna bring her home today..." she explained.

"He got stuck in surgery, so I brought her home. She's sleeping."

Addison nodded, was disappointed like her daughter for her husband's absence. Mark noticed and internally felt sorry for her. He hated having to testify the suffering that his best friend's family had because of his neglect.

Mark and Addison were never close friends. For her, he was always her husband's best friend who, willingly or not, she'd have to put up in her living room every weekend. That's exactly like college times. Although most of the time, Addison had seen him as a womanizer, irresponsible and insensitive; in recent months she had discovered a new side of Mark. The side that, as incredible as it seems, she wanted Derek to have.

The nearness between Mark and Addison was getting more and more embarrassing for both, who could no longer disguise their repressed desires. He comforted her when Derek didn't; he cared for Katie when Derek couldn't care; he held her hand when Derek couldn't hold anything but a scalpel.

Once a kiss happened, but they promised that the moment would be forgotten forever. Since then, a giant guilty elephant has taken over the place where they were together. It wouldn't be any different now.

They were standing facing each other without knowing what to say. He regretted that she had been disappointed again with one more broken promise from her husband and she still embarrassed for wanting him to kiss her again.

"I... I'm cleaning up the mess we made." Mark said, "I'm gonna home when I'm done."

"Okay... I'm gonna take a shower..."

She blushed when she realized that it had been too intimate.

"I mean... I'm gonna up. Close the door when you leave. I'll come down to lock it."

Mark nodded, and then Addison grabbed her shoes on the floor and went upstairs. As soon as she entered her room, she dropped her shoe on the floor and leaned against the door, closing her eyes. She couldn't believe Derek had broken another promise. She walked to the bathroom and then took off her clothes to go under the shower.

She stood. Her arms and shoulders relaxed, feeling the hot water run down her head. For a few minutes, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath several times trying to forget all her problems. Then she opened her eyes, picking up liquid soap to squeeze through her body, scrubbing to make sure the hospital smell would leave before she got close to her daughter. She didn't want to think about Mark at that moment, but as soon as she closed her eyes again, the memory of their first and **only** kiss came to her mind.

_**She did not react to feel Mark's hot breath coming closer to her face. At that point, she had no more notion if she was approaching him or if he was approaching her. She only felt his blue eyes closer and closer; then she saw his eyes closing and Mark's soft lips sucking hers, so she didn't resist and closed her eyes too.**_

_**The kiss lasted a few seconds, which could be an eternity to her while she lost herself when she felt his tongue caressing hers efficiently. His hand touched her neck with the warmth and sensibility she had not felt from Derek in a long time. Then, in an instant, she pulled away and pushed his hand away from her body. She still panting and with her lips red.**_

_**"This shouldn't have happened." she said.**_

"_**S-Sorry, Addie..."**_

"_**N-No... It was me... I'm sorry."**_

"_**It wasn't you. It was me. I'm so sorry."**_

_**Addison shook her head, still confused.**_

_**"I don't know what's going on... I just... I'm upset about Derek." she said, "He'd be here, Katie's upset with him again... I'm sorry, Mark."**_

"_**Let's just forget it happened, okay?!" he said holding her hands, trying to calm her down.**_

_**Addison took a deep breath, calming down, then realized he could calm her with his touch. Pulled her hand again.**_

"_**Come home, Mark… Please. I need to be alone."**_

_**Mark nodded, **__**stroked**__** her shoulder and stood up to leave. Addison breathed in relieved when she heard the door closing and threw her body against the couch to relax; she looked up at the ceiling and asked herself what was happening to her. Then she felt someone sitting next to her on the couch and quickly turned to see who it was. She panicked to think that Katie was awake and could see what had just happened between her mother and her father's best friend, but it was Amelia.**_

_**Her husband's younger sister looked at her with a look of pity, as if she could read her soul and saying 'You don't have to feel guilty for anything', and that scared Addison. She remembered that she just remembered the door closing when Mark left, but she didn't remember the door opening for Amelia came, so she looked at her sister-in-law with curiosity.**_

_**"Addie, it's okay." Amelia said, "I'll not tell anyone."**_

_**Addison felt a shiver, and at that moment she was sure that her face was flushed. She approached her sister-in-law and hugged her. Of all her husband's four sisters, Amelia has always been her favorite since the time she was only Derek's girlfriend.**_

"_**What did I do?" the redhead asked.**_

"_**Derek wasn't here... Mark was." Amelia explained while her sister-in-law cried softly on her shoulder, "He was here... That's it."**_

Addison opened her eyes. She never forgave herself for that, never knew how to be like Amelia to reduce her mistakes until the point of making them insignificant. It was hard to sleep next to Derek, even though he slept with his back to her from exhaustion. Over time she was convinced of the insignificance of that kiss, but that was an almost impossible mission with Mark in her home whenever her husband was not.

She let the water run down just for a few seconds on her body to take what was left of the soap. Then she turned off the shower and pulled a towel to dry her hair and put on a clean, soft bathrobe. After leaving the box, she looked at her image in the mirror and took a deep breath. She left the bathroom and decided to walk to her daughter's room to kiss her good night.

She was walking down the narrow hall, with her head lowered, when she felt herself collide with something, but before she fell, she felt a strong hand gripping both her arms. She looked up and met Mark's face very close to hers.

"I'm sorry..." he said, dropping her arm after balancing her.

She can't say anything.

"I was gonna tell you I'm leaving" Mark continued, unable to take his eyes off hers.

Addison was silent, looking at him. Unwittingly she looked away and caught herself staring at his lips. That was a start for Mark. He obviously caught the look and felt a shiver through his body.

"I was gonna see Katie..."

Without her expecting, Mark pulled her by the waist and invaded her mouth with a kiss. At first, she resisted, tried to push him, but his strong arms were fastened tightly around her waist, so she relaxed and let her tongue move in tune with his.

She moaned low on Mark's lips, feeling his hand running over her shoulder, pulling her robe down. He pulled away and immediately felt excited to see her naked breasts, "_**It's wrong, Mark... It's wrong."**_ he tried to say to himself, but he wasn't stronger than he imagined, never was, and instinctively, his hand tightened on one of her boobs, making her moan.

"Don't do this..." she whispered very low with her eyes closed, "To... Please..."

She opened her eyes and for a moment her fantasy came true. _Derek_ was in front of her, touching her, bringing his face closer to hers for a kiss. It had been so long since they had a good sex time, so she could feel _him_ through Mark's hands. It was simple, she just needs to close her eyes and let her thoughts make the rest. She pulled Mark's shirt, dropping it to the floor. His hands roamed her naked back as she pulled him into the bedroom, opening the button of his jeans, letting it slide down his legs. Mark hurried to take off his pants, then stepped into the room, taking off her robe, leaving her completely naked.

* * *

It was almost 1:00 a.m. when Derek got home. The first strange thing he could tell was that the door was open. He worried that someone was coming into his house to do something with his wife and daughter, so he immediately went upstairs to check it out.

As he walked toward his room, he saw a shirt lying on the corridor floor which, he was sure, was not his. He walked a few more steps and saw a pair of men's jeans. Now he was facing the door of his room, afraid of what he might find. He took a deep breath before opening the door and meeting Mark with his body over his wife, who wrapped him with her legs open. She moaned low with her eyes closed, running her hand along his back as he touched her body as, Derek believed until then, only **he** had touched before.

He was completely surprised, felt his limbs anesthetized. He wanted to say something, but his mouth didn't move; he wanted to run away, but his legs didn't obey his command. He actually thought the best thing that could happen at that moment was that the floor would open under his feet and suck him. Then he turned his back, was about to leave the room, and he wanted to do it quietly, but he bumped into something, catching the attention of Mark and Addison, who quickly stopped in alarm.

"Derek…" Addison said.

Mark, startled, immediately got up from his best friend's bed, without knowing what to do. That was such a startling situation. In all his life, Mark Sloan always knew what to do in any situation, he could reverse all situations in his favor, it was like this throughout the med school, internship, residency; but that day he didn't know what to do. Derek looked at him with a look he'd never seeing before. It was a disappointment, angry… He didn't know. The only thing he knew was that whatever Derek was thinking, he was right. That was no words Mark would say to explain what his best friend just saw, anyway he walked over to him, but all Derek could do was throw the jeans he'd collected from the floor on his, now, **ex**-best friend.

"Derek... Calm down." Mark said.

"Get out of my house!" Derek exclaimed, sending his best friend the most hateful look Mark had ever seen.

"Derek, I..."

"OUT OF MY HOME **NOW**!"

Addison grabbed a shirt Derek had used the day before and tossed it into the chair beside the bed, and dressed.

"Go, Mark! Get out of here." she said.

"But Addie..." Mark said holding up his pants to cover his cock.

"Go!"

"I ain't gonna let you handle this alone, I..."

"Get out of my house!" Derek said, pulling his friend by the arm.

He threw Mark out of the room, then slammed the door and turned to the wife who was sitting on the bed.

That was so humiliating, Addison would think if any thoughts could cross your mind. Her body was sweaty, she now was wearing a dark shirt, which he did recognize, that fell loose over her thin body. He was very angry, as he had never felt before. Until that moment he had come home exhausted, ready to take a warm shower and throw himself in bed, but the tiredness had completely disappeared. He hoped she would say something, at least to tell him it was a nightmare, but no word came out of her mouth, she just stared at him, letting the tears fall from her eyes, still not knowing what she had done.

Addison never cried. Forbes Montgomerys never cried. That was a sign of weakness to them and Derek, more than anyone, knows that. So, a cry came from her was the sign that all of that was true. He kept glaring at her until instinctively walked to their closet.

"Derek..." she finally said something, getting out of bed to check what he would do.

She took the panties off the floor and pulled on as fast as she could. She followed her husband who was taking her clothes from the closet.

"Derek, what are you doing?" she asked as he threw the many designer dresses on the bed, "Derek, talk to me!"

He couldn't say anything. He just picked up some of the dresses, gathered the ones on the bed, and carried them, taking the sheet that covered the bed.

"Derek, what are you doing?!" she asked following him, "We have to talk about this! You have to give me a chance to explain... What are you doing? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY CLOTHES? Derek?!"

She followed him down the hall.

"It was one time! I know that's what people say. I know what always gets said, but it's…" she was following him down the stairs, "I don't even know how it happened. I don't know what I was thinking! He was just… He was just here… He was just here…"

"_**He was just here?"**_

"You screw my best friend and all you can say is 'He was just here'?" Derek asked, opening the door.

"Derek!" she exclaimed as she watched him throw her clothes away from the house.

"Get out!"

"NO!"

"**GET OUT!**" he ordered pointing to the open door.

"No. I'm not going. We're gonna just talk about this." Addison said, sitting down on one of the stairs.

"**GET OUT OF MY HOME NOW!**"

"No! We're gonna discuss this. No, no! I'm holding my ground… WE DON'T QUIT! We have to work…"

"Get out…"

He pulled her by the arm.

"NO! What are you doing?"

"Get out!"

"What...? Derek!"

He threw her out of their home and slammed the door.

"No!" Addison said, pressing her hands against the door.

It was raining outside, and he listened to her, mingled with the sound of raindrops falling to the ground, his wife's moan crying banging lightly on the door.

"No... Derek, please..."

He could see her silhouette standing, trembling a little.

"Please..." she cried again.

He turned his back and rolled his eyes from both sides of the living room.

"Please..." she continued to cry, knocking on the door, "Please, Derek..."

_**"What's going on?"**_ he asked himself before taking a deep breath.

"Please..."

He turned and opened the door to meet Addison with a completely miserable appearance. Her clothes were thrown in front of the house.

"Sorry..." she said between tears coming in again, "I'm sorry... You have to give me a chance." she was approaching him, "You have to give me a chance to show how sorry I am..."

He let her hug him and, as much as he tried, couldn't reciprocate the hug. Then he took her by the arms and pulled her away, much more when he saw that she was trying to kiss him. He reached out to close the door, ran his hand through his hair, then removed the ring from his finger and placed it in her hands.

"I'm gonna go and you stay... I'll get my clothes in the morning." he said.

"No..." she moaned, "We can survive. We can survive this." she argued, trying to make him understand, "We're Addison&Derek... We can survive this."

"I can't look at you… I just… I look at you and I feel nauseous..."

Derek tried, more than once, to put out the words that were stuck in his throat, but it hurt his chest to say that.

"We... We... We're not Addison&Derek anymore."

Addison felt the shivers of what she had just heard.

"If you go now, we are not gonna get through this. If you go now… We don't have a chance. We don't have a chance?"

He didn't answer.

"If you go now…"

She still didn't believe that a slip was putting her whole life in collapse. Derek shook his head, walked to the door, and left. Addison bent down on the floor crying, wishing she could back to that start. _**"What did I did?".**_

In a few minutes, she heard the door open again and was surprised when Derek entered with her clothes. He threw everything near the door and went upstairs.

"Der..." she followed him hopefully.

Maybe he had decided to think better, maybe he decides to talk to her the next day. That was good, but all she watched as he entered their daughter's bedroom and took the unconscious child in his arms. Then she realized what was happening.

"Derek... What do you **think** you're doing?!" she asked as he took their daughter's backpack, which probably had only the things she took to stay with miss Gomez after school.

Katie shifted in her father's arms and opened her eyes to try to understand what was happening. She just saw the sketch of her mother crying behind her father, wearing only a dark shirt, while Derek led her down the hall.

"Derek... You aren't gonna take her, are you listening?" Addison asked, following him now by the ladder, "Derek!"

"Mom..." the girl moaned, still sleepy.

"Give her to me, Derek." Addison said, holding her daughter's hand, "You're not gonna take my daughter!"

Katie woke up and look above her father's shoulders.

"Shii... Go back to sleep, sweetheart." Derek said, pressing his daughter's face into his shoulder as they made their way to the door.

"No, Derek…" Addison said, following him down the wet stairs.

He put their daughter in the backseat of his car and slammed the door. The girl had awakened now but seemed confused with everything. Addison grabbed him by the sleeve of his coat, which he had not had time to pull off when he got home, and tried to stop him from leaving.

"You'll not take her... Please, Derek. Leave her with me" she pleaded, crying.

"Mommy!" Katie said, banging on the glass of the car as Derek tried to get his wife to drop his arm.

"She doesn't wanna go, Derek! Please!"

He jerked a last tug on his arm, causing Addison's fingers to free his overcoat. Then he got into the car and turned the key to turn on.

"Daddy, what's going on?" the scary girl asked.

She could see a tear trickling down her father's face as her mother beat in despair at the window she was sitting on. The car left the place and Derek accelerated.

"No! NO! Katie! KATIIIIIIIIIIIE!" Addison ran behind the car.

But it was faster and then it turned the corner and disappeared from her sight.

"KATIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

* * *

Derek didn't know where to drive. If he went to his mother's house, he would have to explain what led him to appear there at that hour with his daughter on her pajamas. If he went to a hotel, he would probably be located by Addison. He was very angry, so he couldn't hear Katie, who was sitting in the car, questioning him about what was happening.

"Daddy… What's going on?" the girl asked, "Where are we going? I wanna my mommy."

He couldn't believe what was happening. His foot pressed the accelerator while the image of Mark with his naked body on top of his wife appeared on his mind.

"DADDY!" he heard Katie's voice bringing him back to reality.

Now, a car was arising in front of him, frightening him, causing him to turn the steering wheel trying to sidestep it and immediately step on the brake. The car stopped violently on the roadblock, while the other cars followed their way, honking, as he was rebuking himself for the lack of attention driving. Derek's breath, which had been stopped until then, was released. His heart was beating so hard and fast, he had the feeling he could hear it loud and clear. The silence took hold for a few seconds until the sound of a child crying behind his back caught his attention.

"_**What am I doing?"**_ he thought.

"Calm down…"

He turned to look at the girl who had a frightened face.

"It was nothing. It's all right."

"Let's go home..." Katie asked for, crying and wiping her tears with the sleeve of her pajamas.

"Sweetheart, calm down. Come here with daddy…" he said, pulling her hand.

The girl was shaking a little and was scared because she was in a dark and silent street with her father. She passed between the front seats and sat on her father's lap, hugging him.

"I'm sorry…" Derek said against her hair, "Daddy didn't wanna risk your life, I…"

She was still crying.

"Shiiii… It's ok. Daddy's here with you…"

"I wanna go home, daddy…"

"Close your eyes, princess."

"Are we gonna home?"

"Just close your eyes."

Katie continued to cry for a few minutes with her father's arms hugging her back and his hands stroking her hair until her sobbing became a low and fickle moan. Then she slept.

The silence gave Derek a time to think about what was happening. He still didn't believe he'd found Addison and Mark in his bed. Not even in his worst nightmares, he could imagine something like that. Of course his heart was hurt. Even though he didn't want, he just couldn't help but think about how Addison was at that very moment. "_**Did she call the police?" **_he asked himself, caressing the hair of the sleeping girl on his chest.

He picked up his cell phone, which was in his coat pocket, and searched for Richard Webber's number, who was one of his mentors many years ago during his residency period. Since he became chief of surgeries at the hospital where he worked in Seattle, Richard tried to form a great team of surgeons and occasionally contacted Addison and Derek inviting them to take over the head of their specialties. At that time, neither he nor Addison had expected to leave Manhattan, but now he saw it as an instant opportunity to get rid of it all.

"Richard Webber…" he heard the voice on the other side of the line.

"Webber? It's Derek Shepherd."

"Shepherd! How are you?"

"I'm sorry for calling at this hour…"

"What hour?" Richard asked, "It must be dawn in New York, but here in Seattle... Three hours less, remember?"

"Sure."

"But... Tell me... Why are you calling?" Richard asked curiously.

"That job you had for me... Do you still have?"

He heard the noise of movement as if Richard were sitting on his chair before speaking again.

"Yes! Of course!" Richard said immediately, "Whenever you want."

"What's the position?"

"Head of the neurosurgery department. Is this little for you?"

"No. Far above the job I have here."

"Right. You just need to visit Seattle to meet the hospital, bring your salary proposal and..."

"I'm going to Seattle now."

"Are you coming to Seattle now?" Richard asked with a surprised tone in his voice, "Now, **now**?"

"Yes, I just need to buy a ticket and book a hotel..."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah…"

"Why didn't you guys call me earlier?"

"I didn't wanna bother you."

"Did something happen in New York?"

"No… Is everything okay."

"Right. So, I'll wait for you guys in Seattle."

Richard imagined that Addison would be with him.

"I'll contact you as soon as I get there."

"I can't wait for this."

Derek threw the phone on the seat next to him, kissed his daughter's forehead, then got out of the car and sat her on the back seat. She stirred.

"Shiiii... Keep sleeping, sweetheart."

She yawned and found a good position to sleep setting.

"That…"

Derek kissed her forehead again. He closed the door and went back to the front seat, picked up his cell phone again and saw Addison's calls. A new call arrived at that moment. He ignored it, took a deep breath, and began to drive.

When he arrived at the airport, he took the sleeping girl from the backseat, took her backpack, and slammed the car door. The place was practically empty at that hour, but he felt like the people who passed around him, noticed the fact that he was carrying a girl in her pajamas. Derek walked to the counter without standing in a line and opened his wallet with difficulty.

"I wanna two first-class tickets to Seattle." he asked, handing his ID and credit card to the desk clerk.

She looked at him with one eyebrow raised. It was suspected that a man appeared in the middle of the night with an unconscious girl in his lap, wearing her pajamas, asking for tickets to the other side of the country.

"I need some document from the child, sir."

"She's my daughter."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I need a document proving this or an authorization signed by the child's mother."

Derek took a deep breath.

"She'**s** my daughter! What…? Can not a man travel with his own daughter in the middle of the night?"

"I-I'm sorry, sir... I really can't sell you a ticket if you don't prove what you're saying."

He opened his daughter's backpack on the counter, realizing there was a dress, toothbrush, liquid soap, shampoo, a small notebook, and a crayons box. Just what she needed to stay at the nanny's, but nothing to prove that she was really his daughter. He searched for a little longer until he found Katie's emergency, school and vaccination card. He handed it to the clerk, who checked against his document.

"Mr. Shepherd, what is the child's name?" she asked.

"Do you do this to **all** parents?" he countered.

The woman was embarrassed.

"Try to understand, sir. This is a protocol."

"Am I going through a kidnapping protocol?" he asked.

She didn't answer.

"Very well... Her name is Katherine. Katherine Beatrice Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd. She is 5-years-old and was born on October 16th in a c-section. Her blood type is O+, people often say she has my eyes, but she's sleeping, so..."

"Ok, sir..."

"She prefers mashed carrot instead of mashed potato. Her favorite milkshake is strawberry. Sometimes she talks to Dora, the explorer, but she's ashamed of it, so I pretend I don't see. She wears seven-year-old clothes because she's a little bigger, but..."

"Sir, it's all right." the woman said embarrassed.

"She's **my** daughter! She's **my** child! She's **my** baby!"

The woman nodded and handed the documents to him.

"Sorry for the embarrassment, sir, but…"

"It's all right. You're doing your job."

"The next flight leaves in 40 minutes. Do you confirm the purchase?"

"Yes."

"Okay. So, I'm gonna print your tickets and..." she took out the printed papers, "Have a nice trip."

He smiled, adjusted the girl's backpack on his arm, and walked into the departure lounge to wait for the flight.

* * *

Savvy seemed to hear a desperate cry before she falls asleep on her bed next to her husband. For a moment she thought it was just an impression to believe that it was Addison's voice, but something told her that she should get out of bed to look out the window. And that's what she did. She got up, trying not to wake her husband, but failed the attempt, as Weiss shifted in bed and turned to his wife as she set her foot in a comfortable slipper.

"What happened?" Weiss asked worriedly.

"I heard a scream, Addison's voice..." she said walking to the window.

She opened the white curtain and was surprised to see Addison standing in the middle of the street.

"Weiss, come here!"

He got up, still sleepy, and walked to his wife.

"Is not Addison right there?" Savvy asked.

Weiss wiped his eyes to be sure, then he was startled by what he saw. That woman standing, crying in the middle of the empty street, on a rainy night, wearing only a Derek shirt and no shorts, was really Addison. They both got out as fast as they could and left the house to meet their friend.

"Addison! What is going on?!" Savvy asked.

"He took her..." Addison said, crying.

Her lips trembled, making her teeth bit because of the cold wind.

"Addie, you're gonna freeze... Come on." Savvy said, pulling her friend by the shoulder.

"No! I want her back..."

"Who? Addie, let's go to your house and you can explain to me what's going on."

Addison ran a hand over her forehead to wipe the water from her face, then followed her friends until her house. Weiss held a large umbrella over their heads as Savvy guided her.

When they entered their friends' Brownstone, Savvy and Weiss were surprised to see that some wet clothes were thrown near the door; they looked at Addison as if they wanted an explanation, but all she did was crying.

"Something happened, Addie?" Weiss asked, "Do you want us to call Derek?"

Addison ran up the stairs. Savvy and Weiss, who couldn't understand anything, followed her. She looked for her cell phone and dialed Derek's number.

"Addie..." Savvy said, approaching.

"He doesn't wanna answer me…" she said, trying to call again, "Derek... He doesn't wanna answer my call!"

Savvy looked around when she realized her friend was sitting on a bed without a sheet.

"Addie, what happened here? Was it a robbery?" the blonde asked.

Addison shook her head.

"I lost my head completely." Addison said, trying to make another call.

"What are you talking about, Addie?" Savvy asked.

"Mark and I... I didn't resist... I didn't want to, but... He was just here!" Addison said crying, "He's **always** just here! Derek's never and..."

Weiss looked frightened at his wife, understanding absolutely everything that happened. Savvy already knew the tension between Mark and Addison, but was still surprised with what Addison just said.

"Weiss... Make some tea, a coffee, a hot chocolate... Anything hot or she'll catch a cold." Savvy said trying to push her husband away.

He left the room, still surprised at what he had just heard. As soon as she made sure Weiss had gone down the stairs, Savvy took a warm towel from her friend's closet and helped her dry. Then she led her into the bathroom and persuaded her to take a warm shower.

After drying and putting on clean pajamas, Addison returned to her room with her friend and threw herself on the undone bed by picking up her cell phone to call Derek again.

"What did he do, Addie?" Savvy asked.

Nobody needed to be a genius to realize that Derek had found Addison and Mark in bed. Weiss returned to the room with a hot chocolate cup, sat on the bed next to his wife, and held out to his friend.

"No." Addison said, insisting on the call.

"Here, Addie. You'll feel better." Weiss said.

"There's no way for me to feel better while my daughter is away from me." Addison said.

"What?!" Savvy asked, "Did Derek take Katie with him?"

"He took… And I got a bad feeling." the redhead said crying again, "I want my daughter, Savvy!"

Savvy took her friend's free hand. Then she asked Weiss to give her the cup.

"Addie, drink it... I'm sure he'll be back in the morning with her, you know... You're Addison&Derek!" commented Weiss.

Addison wept again, lying on the bed and shrugging her legs.

"What did I do?" she wondered aloud, "What the **hell** did I do?"

Savvy didn't know what to do, so she grabbed a sheet in the closet and put on her friend before turned to her husband.

"You have to go to the hospital tomorrow, I'll have an audience only late afternoon." she said, "Get some rest."

"And leave you here alone?" he asked.

"It's better this way. Go, Weiss. I gonna talk to her... Come home."

Unsuccessfully, Weiss left the cup of hot chocolate on a piece of furniture and said good-bye to his wife before to go back home. Savvy came down to lock the front door, grabbed the wet clothes on the floor, and took them all to the little laundry room. Then she returned to her friend's room and realize she still in the same position, with the phone against her ear, waiting for Derek's answer.

"Addie... It's okay." Savvy said gently picking up the phone from her hand, "Look, he's upset, trying to put himself in his place... But it'll all pass." she said, stroking her friend's hair trying to calm her, "Everything will lighten in his head and he'll return home."

"He'll never forgive me."

"Of course he will. You're Addison&Derek!"

"I guess… We aren't Addison&Derek anymore."

"Don't say that! Of course you're Addison&Derek."

They stared at each other for a few seconds.

"Come here. Hug me." Savvy said, pulling her friend away.

Addison hugged her tightly, crying again.

"I'm feeling a bad thing." Addison said, "I'm feeling... I'm afraid Savvy. Derek got out of here furious, he ran off with the car... If anything happens to him... If anything happens to Katie... **I**'ll never forgive myself."

"Calm down." Savvy said, "Nothing's gonna happen to them, okay? Now try to rest."

"I can't sleep anymore." Addison said, laying her head on her friend's thigh, "As long as my daughter isn't here with me... I ain't gonna sleep anymore."

* * *

"Did you call, sir?" asked the air hostess, standing in front of Derek's seat.

"Yeah. I want a blanket. The most comfortable you have." he said, running a hand over her daughter's arm to warm her.

"If you like, you can regulate her seat, so she'll be comfortable..."

"No. It's okay. She's just cold. I need a blanket. I'm traveling without luggage."

"Just a minute, sir."

The woman pulled away and Derek again kissed the girl's forehead while she still sleeping in his arms after she shivered.

"Shiiiii... Keep sleeping."

After a few minutes, the stewardess came back with a blanket and helped Derek put it over the girl, who now seemed more comfortable resting her face on his father's chest.

"Thank you."

"Anything else, sir?"

"How long until we get to Seattle?"

"We'll be in Seattle in an hour and a half, sir."

"Thank you."

The woman walked away again, leaving him alone with the girl. Derek looked at his daughter's unconscious face and pressed her against him. She brought him peace, made his thoughts empty, and brought him to reality. "_**What am I doing?"**_ he asked himself again.

"I love you..." he whispered before kissing her forehead again.

He tried to sleep, but he couldn't. He stood with his eyes open until he heard the commander announce the landing in Seattle. He looked at his wristwatch at 07:00 in the morning, Katie would wake up at any moment, but when he left the plane with the girl unconscious in his lap he was surprised to realize it was dark in Seattle and was raining a little. "_**Three hours less in Seattle."**_ remembered.

He walked into the airport and thought to call Richard, but he didn't know his number and had left his cell phone in the car in New York so he wouldn't have to answer Addison's calls. He got in a taxi and asked the driver to take him to a hotel.

After checking in, Derek can finally lay her daughter down in a warm, comfortable bed. It felt good only to see her sleeping soundly and being covered by a clean duvet. He walked into the bathroom, washed his face, took a quick hot shower and lay down beside her to watch her sleep since he couldn't sleep at all.

Through the half-open curtain of the front window, Derek saw the Seattle dark sky turn gray. Different from New York, it would bring them a beautiful day with blue skies and sunlight coming through the window, in Seattle dawned cloudy, with thin drops of rain beating against the glass. With the start of the day, he saw his daughter's eyes opening and she looked at him serenely.

Katie didn't remember much from the day before. At that moment, with her father lying in front of her, looking into her eyes, she believed that what she remembered was nothing more than a nightmare. When she had slept, she was in a car, crying on her father's lap; now she was in a comfortable bed, which she was sure was the bed in her parents' bedroom. They had a better bed than hers.

"Morning, daddy."

"Good morning, princess." he said, kissing her forehead.

She got up with difficulty and sat on the bed to realize that this wasn't her parents' room and that probably the day before wouldn't have been a nightmare.

"Where we are?" she asked rubbing her eyes.

"In a hotel room."

She looked around curiously until her eyes found the curtains half-hidden.

"It's raining?" she asked.

"Yeah... I read that it rains a lot around here." Derek said.

"On **here**?!" she asked confused.

"Princess, look at daddy for a minute." he said, pulling her face lightly, "We need to..."

"What's going on?" Katie asked interrupting him.

"Yeah... We'll talk about it now." Derek said, stroking her face, "We're not in New York anymore, we're in Seattle."

"Seattle?"

"It's a city on the west coast. I'm sure you're gonna really like to move here."

"Move?" she asked confused, "Where's mommy?"

"Mom... She... M-Mommy had to stay in New York."

"Why?"

Derek didn't know how to answer that question. Then he was silent.

"I wanna go back to New York. I wanna go home, daddy."

"We're gonna have to stay here for a while, baby... You know, daddy has a job offer here."

"And mommy too?"

"N-No, baby... Your mother will continue to work in New York."

Katie tried to figure out what was going on, but she couldn't put any logical thoughts in her mind.

"I'll never see my mother again?"

"Of course you will... It's not that, sweetie, just... Of course you'll see your mother again, but we'll have to stay here in Seattle for a bit."

"Why didn't you let her come, daddy? She was crying..." now she was remembering the night before.

"Your mother did something, princess."

"What?"

"It wasn't with you... It was with **me**..."

"What did she do?"

Derek was silent and took a deep breath.

"Nothing to hurt you, okay?" he said pulling her onto his chest, "Your mother would never do anything to hurt you."

"I want her here too..."

"Let's just forget about that for a minute and consider this a trip of our own?" Derek asked trying to cheer his daughter, "Look, you have a dress there in that backpack. Put it and we're gonna buy some things for us and visit some people."

"Who?"

"Daddy's friends."

"May I talk to mommy latter?"

"Yes."

"Okay, then."

Katie obeyed. She got out of bed, walked to the bathroom and, after a quick shower, put the dress she had in her backpack. When they went down to the hotel hall, they saw that the day was still beginning in Seattle, but the girl's body was very well awake as in the rare times she could sleep until the afternoon in New York. Derek rented a car, in which they drove to meet the city's streets. Then they stopped at many stores to buy clothes, shoes and, in Derek's case, a new cell phone. Forgetting the day before, Katie had fun shopping with her father, then they went to a restaurant and returned to the hotel to drop off the bags.

"Yes, it was! We got lost **five** times until we got here!" Katie said as her father left the bags on the bed.

Derek laughed.

"It wasn't so much."

"Yes, it was! I counted!"

"What? You're not ashamed to count your father's misfortunes, aren't you girl?!" he asked, tickling her.

Katie laughed struggling in bed until her father walked to the bathroom. It's been a long time she wasn't happy that way with Derek, so for a moment she completely forgot about the day before.

* * *

10:40, marked the clock on Addison's cell phone, which she checked every five minutes to check if she had any messages or calls from Derek. Savvy was still in front of her, who had red eyes and nose for crying all night. They were silent until they heard the doorbell ring, making Addison immediately rise from the bed and run downstairs. Savvy followed.

When they opened the door, they were surprised to find themselves in front of Derek's four sisters. They entered the house without asking permission and looked around. They were all shocked at the physical state in which their sister-in-law was. They had never seen Addison so miserable in broad daylight.

The only one who didn't have black hair and blue eyes, but a short brown hair and brown eyes, took a step forward and threw her hand against the face of her sister-in-law, causing everyone to utter a yell of surprise.

"What are you doing?!" Amelia asked, pushing her sister.

"Nancy! Why did you do that?!" Kathleen asked, standing in front of her sister.

Amelia quickly walked over to her sister-in-law and held her tearful face, now with a red mark on her left cheek.

"What happened yesterday?" Amelia asked.

"It was my fault..."

"**Of course** it was **your** fault!" Nancy exclaimed.

"He took my daughter. I want my baby back!"

"You should think of it before..."

"Nancy!" Kathleen scolded.

"What?! You're gonna come to her defense now?! Didn't you **hear** what Weiss said? Derek met her and Mark **in bed**!" Nancy said.

Addison felt embarrassed, then just lowered her head. Savvy also felt ashamed to hear that it was her husband who was spreading the gossip.

"We have to listen to her…" Liz said, "That's **why** we came here for."

"No! We came to know... What the fuck's going on in your head, Addison?" Nancy asked accusingly.

"STOP IT!" Amelia exclaimed, pointing her finger at her older sister.

"We came here to talk and..."

In an instant, everyone was talking at the same time and Addison was silent between them. Her head started to ache and all she could think about was how Katie was at that moment.

"SHUT UP!" Savvy shouted, causing the four women to shut up, "If you all came here to talk and try to figure out what's going on, sit down on the couch and speak one at a time! But I hope you remember that this is all about Addison and Derek, so she has the right to don't wanna talk with you guys about it."

The four women were silent, looking at Addison, who seemed to be lost without even hearing what was being said there.

"Addie, do you wanna talk to them?" Savvy asked her friend.

With no option, Addison just nodded. They were there. What she'd supposed to do? She sat in an armchair and waited while her sisters-in-law settled in.

"How are you feeling?" Kathleen asked, being the first to speak.

Her voice was soft and Addison could see she was being a therapist, not a sister-of-the-guy-who-was-betrayed.

"Come on! You're not here to work!" Nancy complained.

"Shut up! Why are you acting like this?!" Amelia asked her older sister.

"Simply because I woke up this morning with a call from my brother's life insurance, saying I was his emergency contact..."

"Has anything happened to them?" Addison asked, turning around immediately, worried, to her sister-in-law.

"No. They wanted me to get his car from the airport."

"Airport?!" Addison asked, crying again. "Where did he take my daughter? I want my daughter."

"I have no idea where Derek is." Nancy said.

Addison got up and paced back and forth.

"What did I do?" she asked herself in a whisper, "What did I… What did I do?"

"Do you need someone to explain **what** you did?" Nancy asked.

"I want my daughter... I'll never see my daughter again... I want my baby back... I want..."

"Don't you have any idea where he might be?" Nancy asked.

"He took my daughter... I want my daughter back, I..."

"Addison, what the **hell** did you have in your head to go to bed with **Mark Sloan**?" Nancy asked.

"I want my daughter."

That seems to be the only thing she knew how to say, pacing back and forth like she didn't notice anyone in the room.

Suddenly the air seemed heavy coming through her nostrils. She looked around and saw everyone's gaze on her. She saw the distorted images all around her and she could feel the tears streaming down her face.

"I want my daughter..." was the only thing she could say.

Then she saw Kathleen getting up and holding her by the shoulder.

"Addison, breathe…" the therapist said.

She had short brown hair and her eyes were like her mother's.

"I want my daughter... Where did he take her? I wanna go get my daughter... I can't live without my baby."

"You should have thought of that before you did what you do!" Nancy exclaimed pointing her finger at her.

Addison put her hands to her ear and ran upstairs, leaving everyone unsure. Savvy and Derek's sisters quickly followed in fear that she would do any foolish. They walked in with her in Katie's room and watched as she picked up a plush owl on the unmade bed and hugged it while she leaned against a wall.

"What's she doing?" Nancy asked.

"SHUT UP!" Kathleen exclaimed, turning to her older sister, surprising everyone.

She was always the quietest person in the family. No one had ever seen her screaming at anyone. But, at that time, she seemed to have completely lost her temper with Nancy.

"She is having a panic attack." she explained.

They all felt a shiver. Then they turned to Addison, who was still crouched on the floor, hugging the plush owl, talking to herself with her eyes closed.

"I want my daughter... I want... I want my daughter... I want my baby."

Kathleen walked into the bedroom alone and bent down in front of her sister-in-law. She tried to touch her red hair, but she pulled away.

"Calm down, Addie..."

"I want my daughter..."

"Calm down. Take a deep breath..."

"He won't let me see my baby again."

"This is not true. Derek's gonna put his head in place and gonna come back with Katie, I'm sure. Now calm down and breathe."

Addison approached her sister-in-law and hugged her.

"You're not alone... We'll find out where she is."


	2. 2

_**I have no story. I'm just a girl in the bar.**_

Since he left home, a few days ago, Derek's life was really upside down. He looked around the hotel room and felt dislocated to see the mess of sheets and clothes on the floor. At his side, in the bed, Katie slept like one of the things that were part of the mess.

He felt like she didn't act like she used to with him in New York but that day they would have to dine at Richard and Adele's house and maybe it would make her happy. He knew that in his friends' house he would have to sidestep many questions about Addison, and it would be difficult to do in front of Katie, who was the most curious person to know what was going on in her parents' lives. However, they had a great evening that. Katie had always been a sweet child with people and she really liked funny moments like that. Perhaps because she had little contact with her aunts and cousins, her family has long been only her parents, when she was with people, she used to seem excited a lot. So, at the end of the dinner, she surprised her father by saying she didn't want to go back to the hotel, but she wants to sleep in **that** house, making him feel ashamed. The couple, who had no children, likes the idea of a child at home and again offered the guest room to Derek, who refused. However, Katie did something that Derek remembered she hadn't done since she was two-years-old: she whimpered, leaving him with no way out.

"Stay, Derek…" Adele said, "Look at that. How can you say no to those ocean blue eyes?"

"Please…"

"All right… We'll stay just for tonight."

"Yes!" the girl exclaimed hugging her father.

They shared the bed in the guest room. Katie pretended she was sleeping for a few hours, then, in the middle of the night, when she thought her father would be asleep, she got up carefully from the bed, took his arm off her waist, and left the room in silence. She wasn't quite sure where she was walking for, the house was completely unknown to her, but after a few minutes, she saw the end of the hall and down the stairs to the dark living room. She walked anxiously until the phone beside the sofa and took it off the hook. When she was going to type the number to call, she remembered she didn't know her mother's cell phone number, which had always been just the number #1 on the speed dial of the phone Addison gave her on Christmas, so she decided to call to the living room phone. She knew that number for an emergency case. She remembered Addison and Derek teaching it to her in song form. She dialed the number singing the song her parents created and waited while the call was completed.

"What do you think you're doing?" Derek asked pulling the phone out of her hands.

The girl felt a shiver and gave her father a startled look.

"Come on!" Derek pointed to the stairs.

Without question, Katie obeyed her father and went upstairs to the bedroom. When she entered, with Derek right behind her, she climbed on the bed and covered herself from head to toe. Without a word, Derek also climbed onto the bed and lay down next to her.

He could hear the low disguised sound of her pulling the air while she was crying hidden. He knew she was crying under the blanket, so he passed his hand on her back. Wasn't his plan to make her suffer.

"I just wanted to talk to my mommy..." Katie said.

A tear slipped on Derek's face and he quickly cleared it. He approached his daughter and kissed her back on the sheet.

"I love you."

No matter how much she pretended to ignore, he stayed awake until he knew that her tiredness had overcome her crying. He took the blanket off her head and covered her only until her neck. Then he kissed the girl's damp face and slept next to her.

The next day, they spent the afternoon with Adele after Richard went to work. When Derek said they needed to go, Katie whimpered again to stay but that time he was resilient, making her understand that they really should go.

"Talk to him, aunt Adele."

"Katherine!" Derek scolded.

"Derek, dear... She's having so much fun..."

"But we really have to go... We can come back another day."

"But I don't wanna…" Katie said.

"Dad has a surprise for you. Come on."

"I don't want..." she said, "Tell him, aunt Adele."

"Katherine, enough!" he exclaimed impatiently, "Another day we'll be back."

"But, daddy..."

"Let's go!"

"Derek..."

"**Another** **day**, Adele."

Katie rolled her eyes and stood up from the sofa to stand beside her father. Then she walked over to Adele and hugged her tightly, leaving Derek surprised by that attitude, but he could see that she clearly saw a maternal figure in Adele. Was the figure she used to see in Addison, whom she clearly missed a lot.

"We can meet tomorrow." Adele said kissing her cheek, "You're so beautiful!"

Katie smiled.

"What do you say, Katie?" Derek asked.

"Thanks." the girl said.

"You don't need to thank for being beautiful." Adele said, "Now go there and be a good girl to your father."

"But I didn't want..."

"Katie... Come on. I'm sure you'll love our tour. Come on." Derek said.

The girl said goodbye again to Adele, so Derek also said goodbye and they went out together. He tried to hold his daughter's hand as they left the house, but she denied it and walked quickly in front of him to get into the car.

"I hate you!" the girl exclaimed sitting on the seat next to her father.

At that moment Derek felt like if his heart were tightening inside his chest for hearing that words, he never thought he would hear from his little girl, at least not before her teenage years. He pulled the seat belt in front of his body, since she already had hers, and turned the key on the car.

"I have a surprise for you." he said, starting to drive.

She turned her face and pretended to be looking at the landscape and not listening to her father.

"I'm sure you'll love it."

She continued in silence.

"You always wanted to... Don't you wanna know what it is?"

The silence continued.

"Come on, Katie. You always loved surprises."

"I don't wanna hear about your surprises, I don't wanna talk to you!"

Derek almost cried with that, then stopped looking at his daughter and tried to concentrate on the road ahead, but it was impossible knowing that the most important person in his life was sitting next to him and upset with him.

"I love you." he said.

"I don't love you anymore."

"Honey, I... I'm doing what I can."

"I wanna go home! Why can't we just go back home?"

"It's complicated..."

"Complicated why?!" Katie finally turned to her father.

"You're so young to understand."

"I'm missing a lot of class at school, at the ballet academy, in my painting class..."

"I promise we'll find a new ballet academy for you here, a new painting school and... Be sure, I've been looking for a school for you."

"But I already have a school!"

"But you're gonna have a new school, meet new people... You always thought the first day of class was the coolest to meet new people. Don't you remember?"

"No! Because I'm awful to meet people. If you'd taken me in my first days of school, you'd know that!"

Now he felt a knife wounding his heart. His own daughter was throwing a bucket of guilt on him. He knew that in recent years he hadn't kept most of the promises he made to the girl, but he believed she really did forgive him whenever he apologized to her.

"But I know you're gonna love it." Derek said.

"Why are you doing it, daddy? What did mommy do?"

"I'm sure you'll love the surprise..."

"Daddy, I asked another question."

"I think we'd better not talk about it."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't wanna talk..."

"But why?"

"Look... Katie... There's a map out there in the glove compartment. Take a look."

"I don't wanna know any crap!"

"Hey!" Derek scolded "What's that, young lady?"

She continued to frown, her brow closed. Derek was still looking at her.

"I'm waiting for you to apologize." he said, still driving.

She turned her face and tried to pretend she wasn't noticing her father, but Derek pulled her by the arm, causing her to look again.

**"I'm waiting for you to apologize."** he repeated firmly.

The girl continued in silence, looking at her father with the same face. He parked the car in a field of green lawn where, in that distance, one could see many trees and a trailer.

"We arrived?" Katie asked.

"We're here. But we're just getting out of the car after you apologize to me."

Katie continued to stare at her father. She knew how to be proud when she wanted to.

"Come on, you wanna live in this car forever?"

"Sorry, daddy." she said, letting a tear fall from her eyes.

He felt himself breaking inside to see how it hurt her, humiliated her, but he needed to stand strong; then he pulled her face lightly, so she would look at him again, and remain with the reproachful look.

"Many years ago we had a conversation about how it is and how it's not cool to behave."

The girl nodded.

"Yeah. I won't tolerate this kind of behavior, okay? This is not you."

Katie was still crying in front of her father.

"God... It cuts my heart to have those ear tugs on you, mainly because you never needed it, but I have to do it."

"I want my house."

Derek tried to hold her, but she pulled him away and got out of the car. As soon as she stepped on the soft grass, she breathed the fresh air into her lungs and looked around. She saw that there was a trailer parked on the spot and tried to look in more detail, but Derek got out of the car and stopped beside her.

"We're gonna live here now."

* * *

Mark spent the last few days worried about Addison after he heard about Derek's unexpected attitude. He expected anything from his best friend unless he left the house, taking Katie with him. He worried not only about Addison but also about Katie. Even though he was Derek's best friend, he had no idea where he could be with the girl.

Amelia was the one to give him news from Brownstone since she and Kathleen were the few people Addison was getting. But that day, after much thought, Mark canceled all his surgeries, got his car, and made his way to his friends' house. When he was facing the door, he stayed about 30 minutes without knowing what to do; he felt guilty for being in love with his best friend's wife, but that was stronger than him.

A few more minutes of indecision, he rang the bell. Quickly someone opened the door. It was Addison in a way he never thought he would find her. She wore pajamas, had dark circles under her red eyes, and looked hopeful as if she was waiting for Derek.

"Addie..."

She tried to slam the door, but he stepped forward and held her, then forced himself inside.

"Get out!" she said.

"We need to talk..."

"We don't need to talk, I need you to leave!"

"No... Addie, listen to me..."

"Don't call me Addie! You... You... What were you still doing here? **Why** did you kiss me...?"

"You kissed me too!"

"You broke up with my marriage! You've ruined my life!" she exclaimed, crying.

"Addie..." he said, approaching.

"Don't touch me!" she said, pulling his hand away.

"You need to blame someone, okay, I'll let you blame me. As long as you let me take care of you. You're not well."

"Of course I'm not well! How can I be okay?"

Mark was silent.

"Someone told me you had some panic attacks."

"Who said that?"

"Doesn't matter. What matters is that..."

"It was Savvy!"

"Addie..."

"No… Better… It was **Weiss**... Savvy said to Weiss and he's spreading to everyone. But do you wanna know something? It doesn't matter! None of that matters because... Anyone in my place..."

Mark came over and took her by the arm as if could bring her to reality.

"Calm down. Breathe."

"Do you have any idea how much my life has changed because of a thoughtless attitude, Mark?"

He came over and tried to kiss her, but she pushed him away.

"I'm sorry... I adore you." Mark said, "I'll do anything for you."

"So **leave**, Mark. Do it for me! Go away! I don't wanna talk to you."

He took a deep breath, nodded, and left her house. He looked back, wanting to stay, but he respected the redhead's decision and walked to his car. Addison walked to one window and pushed the curtain aside a bit to watch him leave, but he remained there, sitting in his car, looking at the brownstone for minutes. He didn't notice her because she was staring at the upstairs window he knew was from her bedroom. She asked herself what time he was going to leave, but when she saw him put the car key in position to turn it on, ran to the front door and came out surprising him.

"Mark!"

He immediately got out of the car.

"I don't wanna be alone." she said, crying.

Mark walked over to her and hugged her. Even if the last thing Addison wanted was to look at him, Mark was there to support her as well during all those two week that passed, when she spends most of her time in her daughter's bed, wearing pajamas, with her face swollen from crying heavily every day, staring at the screen of her cell phone waiting for Katie's news or just a call from Derek. Amelia also had been there with her all week, but Mark seemed to be the only one who could understand what she was feeling. He knew the part of guilt he had in everything and he felt, in part, very sorry for what had happened, but he couldn't fight his extinct care. And all he wanted was to take care of Addison.

"You can call the police." Mark said.

"To arrest my husband? After all that I did? How can I do this to Derek?" Addison asked.

"Addie, at first: you did nothing to Derek." Amelia said, "If there's anyone here who should feel guilty, it's **him**. Second: he has no right to disappear like that with the girl."

"I just wish I could talk to her." Addison said looking at her daughter's picture on her cell phone's wallpaper, "I wanna know if she's okay."

"I'm sure she's fine." Amelia said.

"How do you know?" she asked, sitting up hopefully.

"Because even worse than Derek was, he'd never do anything that would put Katie in danger and also because if anything had happened, you'd have been warned." Amelia said.

"She's right... You have to go back to your life, to your patients." Mark said.

"I can't. I can't go back to my life as nothing had happened... "Addison said.

"You need to." Amelia said, "Because you don't know when she's coming back..."

"Or **if** she's coming back…" the redhead completed.

"She **will** be back."

Addison took a deep breath and walked to the mirror, wiped her tears and walked to her bathroom, where she took a long hot shower and dressed to work, surprising Mark and Amelia, who followed her.

* * *

"Will you be able to drive the trailer all over the country?" Katie asked while she helped her father to pack some clothes into the little cabinet of the trailer they were living now.

"No, princess."

"But I thought we were gonna have an adventure!" the girl said in a disappointed tone.

"We will. Did I ever tell you that there's a fishing pond here?" he asked, "Look there on the map... This place is huge. We can do whatever we want."

"So why did you buy a **trailer** if we couldn't travel all over the country?"

"Maybe someday… But for now, young lady... You have school and I have work today. So I'm gonna drop you off at school and then aunt Adele will pick you up, okay?"

"Nothing 'okay'. I don't like this new school. I preferred the old one in New York."

Derek felt a twinge of guilt. He always felt that way when his daughter made that kind of comment.

"I told you everything will be all right, didn't I? You'll get used to the new school, the new people..."

"I wish my mommy was here."

Derek felt himself hit again, then was silent, not knowing what to say.

"Are you ready for school yet?" he asked wanting to change the subject, "Come on. We live far away now."

Katie agreed and left the trailer with her father. They got in the car together and put their seat belts on.

"Daddy, when will I see my mother again?" Katie asked as her father drove.

"Coming soon."

"Soon when?"

"On vacation."

"Just on vacation?!" the frightened girl asked, "And why I can only see my mommy on vacation?"

Derek didn't answer the question. He pretended not to have heard her.

"Daddy…"

"Because it's only on vacation that we can travel to New York, princess."

"I'm gonna miss her so much, did you know that?"

"It's not so extreme, baby."

"Daddy, could you stop loving me?"

Derek was surprised by the question, then turned to his daughter with one eyebrow raised when he stopped the car at the traffic light.

"Of course not."

"Neither did she. She's my mommy. She won't stop loving me."

At that moment he felt guilty that he was pushing Addison away from Katie. He didn't want to do that. Every day during those weeks he slept, promising himself that the next day he would get in touch with his wife, so his daughter would talk to her, but he wouldn't keep the promise. The repulsion he felt for Addison was stronger than his goodwill.

"I know your mother will never stop loving you, baby. But it must be like that, okay? At least for a while."

The traffic opened, and he drove the car.

"I want our old life back."

_**"I also want our old life back."**_ Derek said in thought. It didn't take long for him to park in front of the school where his daughter was studying now. He kissed her on the forehead and felt when she turned her head. He was very sorry that he had changed her whole life, he was sorry that Addison had gotten involved with Mark, for being betrayed by the two people he trusted most in life, especially because he didn't know what to do for now.

The day at the hospital wasn't very busy as he expected. Richard introduced him to the location, gave the contract so he could sign, then introduced him to the staff. He tried again to know what was happening between him and Addison, but he was unsuccessful with explanations. After spending a few hours with his new boss, Derek put on his new lab coat and went through the ER to find work. It didn't take long to find. The place was in a real chaos, as the new class of interns would only arrive the next day.

* * *

Addison had a pile of medical records in front of her, trying to put all the work she'd missed that week. The work relaxed her and made her completely forget the chaos her life had become. If she could, she would stay there all night and always prayed for some surgery to be held for hours in a surgical center. But the day passed quickly for her, and soon the night came with two knocks on the door of her office. She yelled, allowing the person inside, then Mark walked through the door, surprising her.

"Ready to go home?" he asked.

"Ready to stay all night here... Get me some coffee, Mark."

"Are you crazy, Addison?" he asked closing the door.

"Crazy why? Because I don't wanna go back to my house, to my life...? No one would wanna go back to their life if their life were mine, don't you think? I can't stand the idea of going back to my house, Mark." she said as he sat down in front of her, "It seems morbid to stay in that house when Katie isn't there, it's like she's missing... Do you know as it seems? It looks a lot like she was kidnapped and won't come back ever again."

"Because she **was** kidnapped..."

"Don't do that, Mark!"

"Oh! Addie! What are you waiting for? Derek go back with the girl and ask you to forgive him for coming? If he spent all this time without realizing that your marriage problem was him, you don't expect him to notice now, do you?" he asked trying to bring her back to reality, "I adore you, Addie. Really. Like I've never liked any other before..."

"Mark..."

"Your marriage's **over**! Do you know what you must do? Go after your daughter! You don't know where he took her, you have to call the police..."

"I'm not gonna do that." she said, shaking her head, "I **can't** do that."

Mark took a deep breath.

"Do you know what time it is, Addie? Today is my on-call night, but I came here to take you home..."

"I'm not gonna home, I told you. So you go back to your job, Mark."

"Why do you treat me like that, huh?" he asked, holding one of her hands on the table.

Addison shivered and pulled his hand.

"What we did... It was wrong, Mark. Nothing is gonna happen between us. Excuse me."

Mark got up and stormed out of the room. He met Nancy in the hallway, who was surprised by the look on his face.

"Did something happen?" Nancy asked.

"Addison... She's gonna spend the night working."

"Did she go back to work?"

"Yeah… Today. And she doesn't wanna go home anymore."

"I imagine. She's feeling miserable about Katie and I'm dying of shame for having acted that way with her."

"She isn't mad at you."

"I know she doesn't. I've already apologized and everything... But I was ridiculous." said Nancy.

"You were in your right... Apparently, everyone's here in their right, except Addison. She doesn't wanna see her rights."

"This is still very confusing... Derek's not that person. He'll call, of course. Even though he's hurt with Addison, at some point he'll think about it and will understand that he can't push the girl away from her mother, right? I'm sure he'll understand that... I still know my brother." Nancy said.

* * *

At the end of the shift, Derek crossed the street to visit the bar in front of the hospital before picking up Katie at Richard and Adele's house, although it was already quite late.

The place was full of young people interacting with each other like they're celebrating something. He ordered a pure scotch on the counter and sat down at one of the tables, alone, watching the movement. For a long time, he didn't go into a bar alone just to get in. His life had lately come down to work. He was looking back when he noticed a girl who had recently entered. She walked alone toward the counter and sat in front of the bartender asking for pure tequila.

"Pure tequila? Really? You're gonna be sorry in the morning." the stout man said serving the glass.

Something about that girl caught Derek's attention since he wasn't there paying attention to women, but he was completely delighted with her.

"I'm always sorry in the morning. But tomorrow I'll start my first day of work, so keep coming." she said with a soft smile on her face.

The man handed her the glass of tequila, and she quickly raised her mouth, while Derek also stood to walk to the counter.

"Double scotch single malt, please."

"All right."

The bartender nodded and quickly began to prepare Derek's request.

"So… Is this a good place to hang out?" he asked her.

"I wouldn't know. Never been here before."

"You know what? I haven't either. First time here. I'm new in town. I've never been to Seattle. But I got a job so…"

The girl continued to drink, looking forward like she hadn't noticed him. Derek took the drink that had been delivered to him and took a sip waiting for her answer but soon realized that she was ignoring him.

"Oh, you're ignoring me."

"I'm trying to…"

"You shouldn't ignore me." he said.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm someone you need to get to know to love."

She smiled at the comment and turned to him.

"Really?"

"Oh, yes." he said with a smile on his face.

"So, if I know you, I'll love you?"

"Oh, yes."

"You really like yourself, huh?"

"Just hiding my pain."

They laughed together.

"So, what's your story?" he asked without taking the smile from his face.

"I don't have a story. I'm just a girl in a bar."

He held the glass up to her.

"I'm just a guy in a bar."

The two of them stared at each other, then, without him waiting, she approached and kissed him. That was strange, for the first time he felt another mouth in his own that wasn't the same as he had felt for more than 15 years, and he liked it. Her kiss was soft and wet enough to make his body shiver and get even closer to hers.

In a few minutes, without him noticing, he was already in a totally strange place, his lips still on hers, kissing her on the floor. He didn't even pay attention to the fact that he didn't even know the girl's name. Which was good. She had no story, she was just a girl he met in that bar. He almost couldn't remember what happened. When he woke up the morning before, someone was pulling the sheet that covered his ass and throwing a pillow over him. He didn't quite know where he was or what he had done, so he reached over to take the black bra that was thrown before him.

"This is..."

"Humiliating on so many levels." the blond girl said, taking the bra out of his hand.

She was wrapped in the blanket he had used before and was walking in front of him.

"You have to go." she said.

"Why don't you just come back down here and we'll pick up where we left off?" he asked sitting still sleepy.

"No... Seriously... You have to go. I'm late. Which isn't what you want to be on your first day of work, so..."

He pulled his briefs up his legs and stood to look around the mess.

"So… Uh… You actually live here?" he asked.

"No." she said confusedly.

"Oh…"

"Yes, kind of..."

"Um..." he said, pulling on his pants, "It's nice... A little dusty. Odd, but it's nice. So, how do you 'kind of' live here?"

"I moved two weeks ago from Boston. It was my mother's house. I'm selling it."

"Oh! I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"You said it **was** your mother's..."

"Oh! My mother's not dead. She's... You know what? We don't have to do the thing..."

"We can do anything you want." he said, reaching for his shirt.

"No, **the** thing… Exchange the details, pretend we care... I'm gonna go upstairs and take a shower, and when I get back down here, you won't be here, so, um… Goodbye… Um…"

"Derek." he completed.

"Derek… Right!" she pretended to remember, "Meredith."

"Meredith?"

"Yeah."

"Nice to meet you."

"Bye, Derek."

She ran up the stairs and then disappeared. Derek continued with the silly smile on his face; he closed the other buttons on his shirt and again looked around. The place was really very dusty, lots of piles of books scattered on the floor, some boxes closed. The furniture was made of wood, probably made for that house, so if she was to sell the house, it would come furnished. It would be a good deal, a good home to live with Katie in Seattle.

_**"**__**Katie!"**_ he remembered.

Quickly, Derek picked up his wallet that was lying on the floor and put it in his pocket with the key of the car. He ran outside and went out to get his daughter from Richard and Adele's house.

"Oh! Princess!" he exclaimed as soon as the door opened before he rang the doorbell.

Adele was about to go out with Katie, who was ready to school. Derek bent down and kissed his daughter's face.

"Come on... I'll drop you off at school." he said.

The girl looked him up and down with one eyebrow raised.

"Aunt Adele's gonna drop me off at school. Did you do your hair?!" she asked.

Derek looked embarrassed and ran his hand through his voluminous and disheveled hair. Adele held her laughter. The girl went out the door holding Adele's hand.

"Katie, wait... Let me talk to you?"

"I'll wait for you in the car." Adele said, moving away as the girl continued in front of her father.

Derek bent down to be the size of his girl and held both her hands.

"I had an unforeseen tonight, so I..."

"Liar. You forgot me!" Katie said.

"That's not true, I…"

"You're too busy, daddy. You never could drop me off at school. Why do you think you'll now?"

He felt guilty about what he had just heard.

"I wish mommy was here." she said, lowering her head.

That seemed to be her favorite phrase because she knew exactly what effect it had on her father.

"Princess, I'll do everything for you…" he said raising her head, "I'll do what I can, okay? I promise. I'm here to drop you off at school, hun?"

She walked over and kissed her father's face.

"You don't have to."

"Do you wanna hear the good news? I found out that the hospital I work has a super daycare in there, so I'm gonna enroll you." Derek said with a lively smile, "Yeah, it has ballet classes, painting... Those things you like. Besides, that's where I work, so we can see each other the time we want. What do you think?"

Katie smiled, surprising Derek. It had been a while since something from him had not made her smile.

"Nice."

"I knew you'd like it." he said, kissing her face, "Now you go there with aunt Adele. I think you're right. Your father can't drop you off at school like that, can he?"

"You didn't even brush your teeth." Katie said, pulling away.

Derek got up and put his hands against his mouth to feel his breath.

"Hey, wait!" he said running to the girl approaching Adele's car.

He took her off the ground and kissed her cheek.

"I love you." he said.

Adele smiled watching the scene.

"I love you, too." Katie said, "Even without brushing your teeth or combing your hair."

Derek laughed, tickling her.

"Stop, Daddy! You're gonna mess me up!"

"Sorry." he said, stopping and dropping her to the floor, "Have a good day, princess."

"You too."

"See you later."

"Ok."

* * *

Addison saw through her office's windows when dawned, then moved her shoulders to relax her muscles and left the room, walked to the surgeries chart and analyzed for a few seconds.

"Shepherd, Shepherd, Shepherd, Shepherd, Shepherd... A lot of Shepherd in this board" she said to herself, "Hi, good morning, Weiss." she told to her friend who was standing next to her.

"Addie...? I didn't know you were in the hospital today." Weiss said in surprise.

"Yeah... I **work** here. A lot of Shepherd in this board, don't you think?" she asked, "But I think it's the wrong Shepherd."

She took the eraser next to a brush and erased most of the names 'SHEPHERD, N.' to write 'SHEPHERD, A.'.

"What are you doing?" Nancy asked, appearing beside her sister-in-law.

"I'll stay away from the fire…" Weiss said, moving away.

"Nancy, I'm resuming my surgeries." Addison answered.

"I didn't even know you'd gone back to work."

"I don't have to go back to work, because I **already** work here! I was just a little away, but I'm returning to my surgeries... Thank you for having my works for the last few days." Addison said, smiling at her sister-in-law.

Nancy was silent.

"Addie, are you okay?"

"Why I wouldn't be? Nancy, look, we don't have to be in this mood... That slap, I'd give it myself if I could, then... It's okay, right? I'm coming back to my surgeries and I swear I won't kill anyone. I'm just here to do my job and my job is supposed to save lives."

She smiled again at her sister-in-law before pulling away. Nancy followed.

"Addie, I think you have to look for Derek." Nancy said, walking quickly to the steps of her sister-in-law, "I mean... Derek didn't... Katie... You must look for Katie. I don't know, put the police behind and..."

Addison stopped in the hallway and raised one eyebrow at her sister-in-law.

"You want me to have the **police** look for your brother? You know what will happen if I do that, don't you?

"Derek's gonna be arrested as a kidnapper..." Nancy whispered, "But if that's the only way to find Katie..."

"Nancy... No." Addison said before entering the patient's room, "Stencey!" she exclaimed, smiling when she saw the woman sitting on the bed.

"Dr. Shepherd! I'm glad I'm finally with you. I thought it was the other dr. Shepherd." the girl who had brown hair and eyes said.

"What do we have here?" she asked, tossing the ice gel into the patient's belly.

"I think she's excited, crazy to meet the world."

"A few hours from now, that problem will be solved. Listen, Sarah's gonna take you to the surgery room and I'm right behind you."

"Okay!" the mother said smiling.

Addison left the room and didn't care for the looks that followed her in the corridors as she made her way to the surgery room.

"She spent the whole night here and have all this disposition?" Weiss asked, turning to Mark.

"She's completely off-axis."

* * *

On his first day at work, in a new position, Derek tried to talk to some coworkers at the hospital as long as a case came to him, but finally a medical record was delivered to him with the case of a 15 years old girl who was having unexplained convulsions.

"Yes!" he celebrated causing the nurse, who gave him the chart, to look at him with one eyebrow raised.

Everything there in that hospital was different from what he was used to. He wouldn't have a secretary to organize his medical records but interns to do that, at least for a while until Richard retired and handed over to him the chief of surgery position. However, he wasn't used to dealing with interns in New York, so he thought that would be the biggest challenge for him at his new job.

He took the chart, read it quickly and approached some of his newest neurosurgeons to discuss it. None of them had any idea what the teenager's seizures might be causing since all her exams showed normal results.

"Convulsions can't happen for no reason…"

Without belief what he was seeing, he quickly blinked to wipe his eyes to be sure but it was exactly her. She was embarrassed to be in front of him so he turned back on the path she had taken to get there. Derek apologized and walked away from his new colleagues to reach the girl in the hallway and, after running a little, managed to keep up with her.

"Meredith, may I talk to you for a second?"

"Actually, I was…"

As much as she'd tried to escape with an apology, Derek stepped closer and pulled her arm discreetly up a stair.

"Dr. Shepherd..."

"Dr. Shepherd?" he asked dropping her arm, "This morning it was Derek. Now it's dr. Shepherd?"

"**Dr. Shepherd.**" she remarked, "We should pretend it never happened."

"What never happened? You sleeping with me last night? Or you throwing me out this morning? because both are fond memories I'd like to hold onto." Derek said, amused by her embarrassment.

"No! There will be no memories. I'm not the girl in the bar anymore, and you're not the guy. This can't exist. You get that, right?"

He nodded.

"You took advantage of me, and now you want to forget about it."

"I did not…"

"I was drunk, vulnerable, and good-looking, and you took advantage."

"Okay, I was the one who was drunk, and you're not that good-looking."

"Maybe not today. Last night, I was good-looking. I had my red shirt on. You took advantage."

"I did not take advantage."

"Want to take advantage again?" he asked, going over her words again, "Say… Friday night?"

Meredith didn't believe she was hearing that question, so she was silent for a few seconds.

"No! You're an attending and I'm your intern." she said, "Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you've seen me naked."

He smiled, looking her up and down.

"Dr. Shepherd! This is inappropriate! Has that ever occurred to you?"

Derek rolled his eyes as she left him alone. The little black pager touched on his waist and he soon moved to see what it was, the girl's parents had arrived at the hospital. Mr. and Mrs. Bryce sat in the waiting room, looking worried when they saw Derek approaching. They got up and then took a few steps to shorten the distance between them and the doctor.

They wanted answers about their daughter's case, but Derek still had none, which made the patient's parents angry. She was in Seattle Prest before and the main reason for them to transfer her to Seattle Grace was that every doctor in Seattle Prest was saying that now they had hired a super neurosurgeon from New York. So, how can Derek don't know what was happening to their daughter? Derek perfectly understood their frustration, it was the same he would have been if Katie were in that situation, but his side would also have to be understood. He had no information to give an accurate diagnosis.

"Mr. Bryce..."

"No! I want a doctor who knows what they're doing. You get me someone else, someone better than you!"

"Mr. Bryce, I assure that we're all working hard on Katie's case…"

"No, you're not. If you were, you'd be able to give me some answers."

Derek nodded, then stepped away. He asked the nurse to alert the interns' pagers to waiting for him in a boardroom, asked Richard for permission to do what he was about to do, and then he met the youngest faces of the hospital, who were already all gathered together.

"Good morning..." he said hurriedly entering, causing some interns to adjust their postures, "I'm gonna do something pretty rare for a surgeon. I'm gonna ask interns for help." kept pacing up and down, "I've got this kid, Katie Bryce. Right now, she's a mystery. She doesn't respond to or meds, the labs are clean, the scans are pure, but she's having seizures… Grand mal seizures with no visible cause. She's a ticking clock. She's gonna die if I don't make a diagnosis, which is where you come in." announced taking the attention of everybody, "I can't do it alone. I need your extra minds, extra eyes. I need you to play detective. I need you to find why Katie is having seizures. I know you're tired, you're busy, you got more work than you can possibly handle. I understand, so I'm gonna give you an incentive. Whoever finds the answer rides with me."

He could see at that moment one of the interns, the curly-haired oriental girl became more interested than the others.

"Katie needs surgery. You get to do what no interns get to do… Scrub to assist on an advanced procedure. Dr. Bailey's gonna hand you Katie's chart. The clock is ticking fast, people. If we're gonna save Katie's life, we have to do it soon."

Everyone grabbed one of the medical charts and scattered to try to solve the case.

* * *

Mark Sloan stopped what he was doing and hurried to follow in the steps of the redhead hurrying down the hall. She had been changing the delivery rooms for hours, which worried him.

"Addie, don't you wanna have lunch with me?"

"No." she said quickly.

"But you didn't eat anything and are working like crazy."

"Do you think I'd be okay if I turn my hair blonde?"

"What?!" he questioned without understanding what she would like to mean.

"If I paint my hair… Do you think I'd be… You know… Okay?"

"Why would you do that?"

"I don't know, Mark… Just a wish to be unrecognizable."

"Don't do that." Mark said.

"Why? Will it look ugly?"

"Because you don't **need it**! And yes… Can be ugly."

"Shit!"

They kept walking in silence.

"Come to have lunch…"

"And what if I cut? What do you think?"

"Addison, stop wanting to get away from your own life. You're such a perfect woman just like you are. You look perfect to me."

She stopped in front of the new patient's door and took a deep breath. Smiled at Mark's compliment and entered the room to put another baby in the world.

"Okay, Melissa, let's check..." the doctor said checking the patient's dilation after putting a surgical glove on her hands, "Look perfect… Now you'll take a deep breath and when I ask you to push, you'll push, okay?"

"Okay."

Addison noted before turned to her patient.

"Okay, Melissa. Push!"

The patient shrieked, screaming, while Addison saw her opening dilate further into the child's exit.

"Once more… Push!"

The woman obeyed and put everything to herself to bring the child into the world. Addison could now see the child head coming out.

"I can see her head. Just one more big push, okay?"

The patient took a few deep breaths before pushed hard.

"Okay, Melissa. You're doing great. I took her head."

Addison carefully removed the child from her mother and handed the scissors to the father to cut the umbilical cord. He was moved but soon recovered his posture to take the child in his lap to his wife who also cried. Addison continued to work by removing the placenta from the patient. When it was over, she stood and looked smiling at the little family holding the bloody child.

"Then? Have you decided what name she'll have?"

"Addison." Melissa answered without taking her eyes off the child in her arms.

"Addison?"

"In your honor." the father said, "If weren't you, she wouldn't be here".

Addison smiled. She saw when the patient put a hand on her husband's face and smiled at him.

"Honey, you're crying…"

_**Addison tried to stretch her neck to see what was happening away from her field of vision, but the anesthesia that had been applied to her body prevented her from seeing anything. She knew that, at that moment, Derek was cutting their daughter's umbilical cord and felt jealous of him for that. It seemed unfair that he would know her before she held her for nine months in her uterus, but soon Derek came up with the bloody child who cried out a fine cry. He placed the baby carefully near his wife's face and saw that she also let some tears down on her face.**_

"_**It's a girl…"**_

"_**I know."**_

"_**She doesn't look like Emily… She looks like Katherine."**_

_**Addison smiled crying, felt a little ridiculous since that scene was the most frequent one in her profession, could watch it dozens of times a day, but now it was different, she was living it and despite having already seen all kinds of babies, in her mind that was the most beautiful baby in the world. She knew that Derek had given up the name he had spent months recommending just to please her, so she gave him a calm look with a smile. He looked at the girl like he was hypnotized. His eyes were red and at that moment another tear rolled across his face.**_

"_**You're crying, honey…"**_

_**Derek looked away from his daughter and turned to his wife, brought his face close to hers and kissed her lips.**_

"_**I love you…" he said, "Thanks for this moment."**_

"Dr. Shepherd... Are you crying?" Melissa asked bringing the doctor back to reality.

"I'm sorry…" Addison said cleaning her tears, "I… I… Thank you for the honor. No one ever did this."

"Can you hear it, Addison? You're special." the mother said stroking her daughter's hair while she suckles, "What's the nickname for Addison?"

"Addie." Addison replied.

"Addie..."

Addison continued to stare at the scene in front of her and again cried.

"Oh… I'm sorry. Your daughter reminded me of someone."

"Realy? Who?" the patient asked excitedly.

"My daughter."

"Do you have a daughter?"

"Hmrm… But she's a little away from…"

"She died?"

Addison felt herself shiver. Then she left the delivery room unceremoniously and ran to her office. Quickly she switched off the light and shrank her body to the side of the sofa.

She stayed there for about an hour until Nancy came in to tell her she had been called to an emergency surgery which the patient had waited too long for the obstetrician. But when she entered the office, she was surprised to see that the light was off and her sister-in-law was crying against the wall, hugging her legs.

"What happened?" Nancy approached.

"I can't even do my job anymore, Nancy. I think about her all the time!"

"Oh, Addie!"

Nancy sat down beside and hugged her.

"I need to talk to her, Nancy." Addison said crying, "I need to know if she's okay... I need to talk to her."

Nancy tried to calm her sister-in-law by hugging her tightly.

"I need her here..."

"We'll find a way." Nancy said, "Don't you worry. We'll find a way."

"What way?"

"I don't know, but you're not alone, okay? I'll call Kath…"

"No. I don't want anyone to see me like this."

"Addie..."

"No."

"Okay. Have you eaten anything today?"

"No."

"Come on. Let's eat something."

"I don't wanna eat anything."

"You need to eat something..."

"I don't wanna... I wanna die."

Nancy took a deep breath.

"I can't believe this is happening to me. **Why** is this happening to me, Nancy? It was a slip... A silly thing that changed my whole life. How could an act unintentionally have changed all those years that Derek and I lived?"

"Addie... Calm. Breathe. I'm sure it's gonna be all right."

"I'm missing her." said Addison, crying again on her sister-in-law's shoulder.

"We'll find a way..."

* * *

Derek was ready to go up to the daycare when he heard a female voice calling him the moment the elevator door opened for him to enter.

"Dr. Shepherd, just one moment." Cristina yang called, stopping in front of the elevator door, "Katie competes in beauty pageants."

Derek raised one eyebrow, but still entered the elevator.

"I know that, but we have to save her life, anyway."

"Okay, she has no headaches, no neck pain, her CT is clean…" Cristina said as the elevator door closed.

She put her hand to hold and the door opened again.

"There's no medical proof of an aneurysm, but what if she has an aneurysm, anyway?" the intern asked.

"There are no indicators." Derek said.

"She twisted her ankle practicing for the pageant." she said holding the elevator door again.

"I appreciate you trying to help, but…"

"When she twisted her ankle, she fell." Meredith said making him pay attention to them.

"It was no big deal, not even a bump on the head, she got up, iced her ankle, and everything was fine. It was a fall so minor, her doctor didn't even think to mention it when I was taking her history, but she did… She did fall." Cristina said again holding the elevator door.

"You know what the chance is that a minor fall could burst an aneurysm?" Derek asked, "One in a million… Literally." He said leaving the door close.

Then he pressed the button to open the door and left.

"Let's go…"

"Where?" Cristina asked, unbelieving.

"To find out if Katie's one in a million."

Meredith and Cristina looked at each other and followed the doctor. They took the teenager to a CT room and waited to see all the details while the image formed on the screen. Derek watched every detail with his trained eyes, until he saw for a few seconds a spot forming. Cristina pressed the print button, then she waited for the printed exam before handing it to the doctor.

"My God!" he said showing the pictures.

"There it is." the nurse said.

"It's minute, but it's there… It's a subarachnoid hemorrhage. She's bleeding into her brain." He took the exam and left with the two interns following him.

"She could have gone through her entire life without it ever being a problem…"

"One tap in the right spot and…"

"And it exploded." he said by completing Cristina's line of reasoning "Now I can fix it. You two did great work. I love to stay and kiss your asses, but I got to tell Katie's parents she's having surgery. Katie Bryce's chart, please." He asked the nurse from the counter.

"Here you go." said the nurse, handing the chart to him.

He looked for a few seconds and attached the new exam there.

"Dr. Shepherd, you'd said that you'd pick someone to scrub in if we helped..." Cristina remembered.

"Oh, yes! Right! I'm sorry I can't take you both. It's gonna be a full house. Meredith, I'll see you in OR."

Meredith was out of reaction as Derek walked away and Cristina angrily at her.

"Cristina..."

The intern was really very upset. After hearing a few unwanted things from Cristina, Meredith looked for Derek and found him in Katie Bryce's room, scraping the girl's blond hair himself. He smiled as he realized her, but all she wanted to know was **why** he had chosen her instead of Cristina and if it had something with the fact that they had sex the night before. Derek said no and she deserved to follow her case to the end, after all, she was the intern in Katie's case.

So, as he promised, Meredith followed the whole procedure. She was anxious and nervous for been for the first time in a surgical center, watching people work. In the gallery, her colleagues watched her with a mixture of envy and admiration. Looking at them from that angle was more different than she could imagine.

Standing next to the gallery door, she saw Cristina, with her arms crossed. She still indignant that had helped to solve a case without being recognized for it. Meredith was embarrassed, but when Derek entered the OR with a dark blue cap on his head and his wet arms extended, the nurses walked up to him to put him on the scrub and surgery gloves. He looked around.

"All right, everybody. It's a beautiful night to save lives. Let's have some fun." he said the phrase he used to say in New York.

She couldn't deny that his eyes moved her. Derek positioned himself and soon began to operate. He stayed for hours in that position. Meredith tried to focus on his genius hands with a scalpel, but she couldn't help but stare into his blue eyes fixed on the patient's brain. When Derek looked away and found her face, there was no time for her to disguise that she was looking at him. Then he smiled behind the mask and nodded asking her to approach the other lens of the microscope to see him repairing the aneurysm. She smiled and obeyed.

After the surgery ended, Derek washed his hands for a few minutes. It was strange that his first day's work in Seattle had been happier than the days of work in New York. He felt he wasn't happily working like that since he was a resident. He wiped the entire length of his arm and left the now empty surgical center, walked to the nurse's desk, and then began to sign the patient's medical record.

"That was amazing." heard a female voice behind him.

He turned to find Meredith sitting on a stretcher. The mask was still tied around her neck, falling into her chest.

"You practice on cadavers, you observe, and you think you know what you're gonna feel like, standing over that table, but…" she said trying to explain, "That was such a high. I don't know why anybody does drugs."

"Yeah…" Derek said with a smile on his face.

That was exactly what he felt when he looked for surgeries to forget the worries he felt when Amelia vanished because of her drug problems. That was the first time he'd paid attention to an intern and was amazed at the gleam in her gaze.

"I'll see you around." He said closing the chart.

"I'll see you around…"

"By the way, do you still wanna sell your house?"

Meredith thought for a few seconds. Then shook her head in denial.

"No... I change my mind. I don't wanna sell my house anymore" she said, "I'll have to get a couple of roommates, but it's home, you know?"

"It's a pity. Katie'd love that house."

"Katie?" she asked, believing he was talking about the patient.

"My daughter. She'll love you… I'm sure."

* * *

"We could go on a fireboat. What do you think?" Derek asked walking down the street with his daughter while she had a cup of a milkshake.

"Don't you think it's dangerous?" Katie asked with one eyebrow raised, just as her mother used to do.

They walked the path from the bakery to her school.

"No... It',s not dangerous. Why do you think it's dangerous?"

"I don't know. Mommy'd say it's dangerous."

Derek took a deep breath, then stopped with his daughter in front of the school and took a few steps to stand in front of her.

"Your mother's not here so we can do a lot of things she always exaggerates. Remember that you said she exaggerated?"

"I still wish she was here."

"If she was here, you wouldn't be drinking milkshake at this time of the morning." Derek said, pulling the cup of milkshake from his daughter's hand, "So? What do you say?"

Katie pulled the milkshake back.

"Will you come and pick me up later?"

"If everything goes as I'm planning, yes, but if not, Aunt Adele comes here."

"Okay." Katie said, turning her back to enter the school.

"Hey, girl!" he called for her to look at him again, "Where's my kiss?"

Katie walked over to her father, hugged him, and kissed her cheek.

"I love you." Derek said.

The girl pulled away again and finally entered the school. Derek returned to the bakery where he had left the car and picked it up to go to the hospital. He quickly dressed in his dark blue uniform and went straight to work. He was standing in front of the elevator researching the Seattle boat trips on his cell phone when he saw Meredith standing by his side with some medical records on her arm. She looked forward pretending not to see him, so he smiled shaking his head.

"Seattle has ferryboats." he commented.

Meredith didn't understand the meaning of that remark.

"Yes."

"I didn't know that." he said looking at the cell phone screen, "I've been living here six weeks. I didn't know there were ferryboats."

Meredith raised one eyebrow, then looked at him.

"Seattle is surrounded by water on three sides." she informed.

"Hence the ferryboats." Derek concluded.

The elevator door opened, and some people got off while they just came in.

"Now I have to like it here." Derek said, putting his cell phone in his pocket, "I wasn't planning on liking it here. I'm from New York. I'm genetically engineered to dislike everywhere except Manhattan. I have a thing for ferryboats."

The two are silent. He with his hands in the pocket of his lab coat and she looking forward.

"I'm not going out with you." she said breaking the silence.

"Did I ask you to go out with me?"

Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Do you wanna go out with me?" he asked with a smile on his face.

"I'm not dating you and I'm definitely not sleeping with you again. You're my boss!"

"I'm your boss's boss." he found.

"You're my teacher and my teacher's teacher. You're sexually harassing me."

"I'm riding an elevator…"

"Look, I'm drawing a line. The line is drawn. There's a big line."

Derek thought for a few seconds and realized that what she was saying made no sense at all.

"So, this line, is it imaginary or do I need to get you a marker?" he asked turning to her.

Meredith looked at his face next to hers, his blue eyes staring at her face, his lips with a slight smile. She didn't resist and left the papers she held to fall the ground to kiss him. When the beeper of the elevator sounded indicating that the door would open, the two of them stepped away and she gathered the papers from the floor. She hurried out as the door opened. Derek continued in the elevator to the surgical floor and walked to the OR where he had been asked. A rape victim had arrived at the hospital. Preston Burke, the head of cardiothoracic, has already operated on a very crowded surgical center. Some interns watched the procedure in the gallery. Derek quickly scrubbed himself and positioned to start operating.

"It's a beautiful day to save lives."

"What?" Preston asked.

"It's one thing I always say."

"Like a ritual?"

"Like a motivational phrase."

"Is not the same thing?"

* * *

"She loved it." Addison said, looking at the children running in front of her on the green lawn "Have lunch in Central Park... We always did that."

"Stop talking like she's dead." Mark said, bumping his shoulder lightly into hers.

"I'm not talking like she's dead, I'm talking like she's not here. How she's not."

Addison took a bite of her sandwich and continued to stare at the children. A few weeks ago she tried to return to her normal life and work, but only now she realized that during that week, for no one day, she had managed to cry for her daughter. It was obvious that she missed her and wanted to cry for being away, but at no time had she managed to cry. _**"Maybe I'm already completely dry."**_ she thought.

"You know, I keep thinking, how hard this is gonna be for her." Addison said, "I mean… She's from New York, genetically engineered to like no other place than Manhattan!"

Mark laughed.

"Although it's with Derek, isn't it? With him, she must have been having fun... If it was me, she would hate everything."

"Don't talk like that. She loves you."

Addison shrugged and went back to eating.

"Do you remember when Derek gave that plush owl to her thinking she would wanna call Hedwig because of Harry Potter and she said it would just be Heddie to look more intimate?" Mark asked.

Addison laughed, remembering.

"Then she wanted to change to Carl because it looked like our neighbor." Addison remembered.

They laughed together.

"How's she sleeping without that?" she asked.

Mark was silent. He knew there was nothing he could say to comfort Addison about the fact that she missed her daughter.

"Don't be like this..." he said putting his arm around her shoulder and pulling her.

She laid her head on his strong shoulder.

"Don't you really think I'd be okay if I painted my hair blond?"

"No. You don't have to change. You're perfect."

"If I was perfect, I wouldn't have damaged my life..."

Mark didn't answer, just kept stroking her arm.

"Sorry, Mark. I didn't mean to offend you."

"No offense."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing."

She shut up and ate again.

"Addie…"

"Hm?"

"Have you ever thought about what we have?"

She shivered, didn't want to talk about it, so didn't answer. Mark noticed.

"It's okay… I…"

"I don't know." she said in surprise, "Of course I've stopped to think... I mean, I ended up with my life because of this, it can't be by accident, can it?"

"So if we had a chance...?"

"No." Addison said, interrupting, "Have no chance under these circumstances. I don't know what it'd be like with Katie here, with Derek here, but... I don't feel like my marriage's over, I... There's no chance for us like that, whenever I look at you, I'll remember that I did something to keep my daughter away from me."

"You still love Derek." Mark said looking forward, "You still love him, expect him to come back, and probably was thinking about him while was in bed with me."

Addison swallowed the sandwich and took the juice very quickly to clear his throat.

"I don't remember what I was thinking, I don't even remember if I **was** thinking." she said, "I love my daughter, I never thought that one day I'd live away from her, I never thought she'd be torn from me and if I thought, I'd probably imagine that I couldn't live for two days without her, but **weeks** have passed and I'm still alive, breathing, even though she's away from me. Every day, when I wake up, what comes to my mind is a frustrating voice that tells me that my life is independent of the most important person and that I can breathe in spite of my daughter. No mother should have managed to wake up to face a day of missing her kid. So I try to tell myself that she's with her father, that she's well, but the truth is that uncertainty hurts me so much, because I don't know her father any more than I thought I knew. But I **love** Derek or... I don't know... I love the **idea** that Derek I got married with still exists."

She took the rest of the juice and rose quietly to throw the plastic cup into the trash, then sat down next to Mark.

"If what we have had isn't by accident, we'll not know under those circumstances."

"You're the most incredible woman I know." Mark said, stroking her face.

Addison smiled.

"You're amazing too, Mark. Incredible as I never thought Mark Sloan could be."

He laughed.

"Are you underestimating me?"

"Sorry." she said, laughing too.

* * *

Derek left the OR with Burke while still wiping his hands on a paper towel. After use, he rolled up the paper and tossed it into the wastebasket he passed in one of the corridors.

"We should get a drink later. You tell me the long story of what makes a hotshot doc leaves the big apple for Seattle."

"Short story, actually. Your chief of surgery made me and offer I couldn't refuse."

"Richard asked you to come?" Burke asked worriedly.

"A lot. Why?

"Nothing…"

"See you later." the neurosurgeon said walking away.

He walked to the room where the patient was being installed and soon found Meredith standing in front of the door.

"Meredith, call every hospital in the country."

"Okay."

"I have to go."

"I didn't ask..."

"I'm not communicating, I'm just..."

He smiled, then took a few steps closer to her.

"I'm not communicating."

He stepped back and walked out into the hallways. Went to his office to take off his uniform, then went to fetch Katie from school and took her to have lunch.

"Is it delicious?" he asked looking at her eating a bacon x-burger.

"Hnnrnn..."

"How was your day?"

"Cool."

"Cool?"

"Hnnrnn..."

"Just cool?"

"Just cool."

They were silent again and Derek was annoyed. He hated the lack of communication they had lately.

"Didn't you do anything special and different at school?"

"No." the girl said staring at the food without wanting eye contact with her father.

"Katie, look at me."

"I'm eating, daddy." she said, putting some more chips in her mouth.

"Look at me." he said, pulling her face lightly.

As incredible as it might seem, that was the first time during that day that Derek could look in detail at her daughter's blue eyes. She was silently watching him, as if expecting him to say something.

"I love you." he said.

Katie smiled and looked away from her father to eat again. Derek was disappointed to expect a _**"me too"**_.

"Didn't anything really happen at school?" he asked.

"I already said no. Why do you keep insisting on that?" Katie asked.

"Because I wanna participate in your life."

Katie pretended not to care and continued to eat in silence.

"Katherine, are you listening to what I'm talking about?"

"Hnnrnn..."

"Then say something, sweetie. We're here, having lunch together... I said I wanna participate in your life. You can tell me anything."

She still silent for a few seconds.

"Come on. Let's start over." Derek said, "How was your day?"

"A piece of shit again." she replied, surprising her father.

Derek worried.

"Why?"

"It has this subject, English, and I'm gonna keep a super low grade because I don't wanna do one of the evaluations."

"And may I **know** why you don't wanna do one of the evaluations, young lady?"

"I knew you were gonna fight me over it..."

"Of course. You have no reason not to do one of the evaluations, do you?"

"It's a Mother's Day theatre. I don't wanna do it."

Derek felt guilty. Then he was silent for the rest of the lunch. When they had finished eating and left the restaurant, he pulled her daughter by the hand and hugged her.

"I love you... I couldn't live a single day without you."

Katie returned the hug after a few seconds. They went to the hospital. Derek left his daughter in daycare and went back to work. That day he spent the whole afternoon trying to get in touch with a family member of his patient who was in a coma, but all he had discovered was that she had no family member and had arrived in town a few weeks ago. Then he warned Katie that she would sleep in Adele's house and spent the whole night sitting next to the unconscious girl.

He saw the day dawning and the movement of the hospital gradually increasing. He was updating himself some of the medical charts to pass the time, when he saw the blond girl in the blue uniform lighter than his, stopping in front of the patient's bedroom door.

"How is she?" she asked.

"No changes."

"Have you been here all night?"

"Hnnrnn..."

"You didn't say you had a daughter?" Meredith recalled.

"Richard and Adele, his wife, adore her. She's a cutie, I told you you're gonna love her too." Derek said, smiling.

Something in his smile left her with no floor. But Meredith didn't seem to believe that daughter's story.

"Kids and I don't…"

"You know, I've four sisters, very girly, tons of kids." Derek said cutting her, "If I was in a coma, they'd all be here. I'd wanna them here. Not having no one? Can't imagine that."

"I can." Meredith said, looking at the unconscious patient.

"What are you talking about? What about your mother?" he asked standing up to walk to a sink "You know? I met your mother when I was an intern in training in Boston. She adored my wi... My daughter's mother. If you were in a coma, she'd be here ordering all the surgeons around. She'd fly these cowboys in from Prague to do these amazing medical procedures..."

"That's true… I do have my mother."

Derek stepped closer and stood beside the intern.

"So? We're kissing but we're not dating?" he asked in a whisper next to her ear.

"I knew that was gonna come up…"

"Don't get me wrong. I like kissing. I'm all for the kissing. More kissing, I say."

"I have no idea what that was about."

"Is it gonna happen again? Because if it is, I need to bring breath mints and put a condom in my wallet."

"Shut up now."

She pulled away, unable to contain the smile on her face. At that moment Preston flashed down the hallway.

"Dr. Burke" Derek called, "I'm off at 06:00 p.m. You wanna get that drink?"

"I don't think so." Preston answered, surprising him.

"Well, what about tomorrow night?"

Burke took a deep breath and turned to Derek, putting both hands in the pockets of his lab coat.

"Shepherd, you should know that Richard promised chief to both of us."

Derek looked at his colleague, not knowing what to say. His face showed a lack of surprise.

"But you knew that already." the cardiologist concluded.

"Keep your friend close and your enemies closer." Derek said.

"You're not the enemies. You're just a competition."

* * *

Addison was at home making something for dinner when someone rang the bell, making her heart race like it always did when the bell was ringed. She turned off the stove and ran to know what it was about. When she opened the door, once again the deception relaxed and took her body. She took the box from the boy's hands in front of her and signed the receipt. At that moment, Lizzie came to the house and took advantage of the open door to enter with her sister-in-law.

"What's this?" Lizzie asked, sitting down on the couch.

"I don't know... I'll open it now."

She opened the package and was surprised to see two necklaces on a small cushion inside a white box. The pendants of the necklaces were two dolls holding hands, which separated to be each with one person. Addison opened the box and took the jewels in her hands to examine gently.

"Who sent you white gold?" Liz asked.

"Dr. Carlsmith. She always sends me Mother's Day gift. Look how beautiful." Addison said, showing her sister-in-law.

"Lovely..." Liz said from a distance.

"I'll save it for when Katie comes back." she said, replacing the jewel in the gift box "**If** she comes back, of course."

"Arg, Addie." Liz said, following the conversation into the kitchen.

"Ah, Liz. I got a lot of notion of what's gonna happen, okay? Derek'll never forgive me; I will never return with my daughter. Then, one day, she'll ask what happened, if she has not already done so; then he'll tell her, and she'll end up hating me too."

"Don't talk like that." Liz said as her sister-in-law stepped back in front of the stove, "I don't like to see anyone so negative, imagine you."

"In my situation, one can't be positive about anything."

Lizzie opened the refrigerator to get a bottle of juice and put it in a glass.

"Do you know? I made a decision today." Addison commented.

"What decision?"

"Tomorrow I'll ask my lawyer to file the divorce papers."

Lizzie was startled by the information and choked on the juice.

"Divorce?" she asked.

"Yeah..."

"Are you crazy? Is that what you want?" Lizzie asked.

"I don't know what I want... I mean, I know. I want my daughter here next to me, so if I come in with a divorce petition, maybe Derek let me stay with her without hesitation. Don't you think?"

"If you do that, you're signing your plea of guilty."

"At this point, I don't care about anything else." Addison said, "I don't make any demands. I just want my daughter's custody. Derek can think of me whatever he wants."

"You have to talk about it. If you do that, he'll be searched by every country and you'll have to wage a legal battle over the girl's guard. It's gonna be a war of extremes. Either one can lose. You guys need to talk..."

"He turned his back... He left..."

"You don't have to think like that. You're Addison&Derek!"

"We're not Addison&Derek anymore." Addison said, mimicking her husband's tone as she set some dishes on the table in front of her sister-in-law.

"We've to talk about it."

"There's nothing to talk about." Addison said, serving.

"Mom will not like that at all."

"Your mother already hates me. What is the difference?"

"You have to think about Katie too... She'll be taken to the court if that happens. She will have the right to choose."

"If Katie says she wants to be with Derek, I'll take it. I swear. I'll suffer, but I do." Addison said, "But if I can fight for my daughter. I'll!"

* * *

After leaving the daycare with her father, Katie walked with him through the corridors, telling how her afternoon in the daycare was, with excitement, as they headed for the elevator to go down and go home. She liked to stay there, felt the other children of surgeons understand her, and especially loved the visits her father made to her during the day. She was happy that night because she was coming home with her father, not Richard or Adele. She adored them, but she could only feel protected in Derek's presence. They stopped in front of the elevator, where Derek was surprised to see that Meredith was standing there waiting. He smiled and took a few steps toward her to make himself known.

"So, it's intense this thing I have for ferryboats, I mean." he whispered.

Meredith felt herself shiver and continued to look forward to avoiding eye contact with him.

"Katie, this is Meredith." Derek said to his daughter.

"Hi, Meredith."

Meredith turned in surprise at the girl's voice. She almost didn't believe Derek really had a daughter, but there she was, and she looked a lot like him.


	3. 3

_**And you must be the woman who's been screewing my husband.**_

Derek looked once more at the watch on his wrist as he held a cup of coffee sitting next to the door of the locker room. That hospital was calm. It was almost 5:00 a.m. and no one ran ahead of him to answer any emergency, which would certainly happen if he were in Mount Sinai Hospital in New York. As soon as he heard the movement of people leaving, he got up and walked to the door, now open. Coincidentally, Meredith and Cristina were the first ones who left at that moment. Cristina passed by without paying attention to him, but Meredith rolled her eyes taking a deep breath when she saw him, clarity showing she didn't want him to be there. It was wrong on so many levels. He was an attending and she was an intern. What he would wait with that? Have fun with her?

"You're here early." she commented while he followed her down the hall.

"I have a chordotomy at 5:00. I'll be out at 6:00. I thought I might buy you breakfast before your rounds."

"I've already eaten."

"What did you have?" he asked.

"None of your business."

"You a cereal person!" Derek said, "Straight out of the box? Or are you fruit and fibery? Pancakes? Do you like pancakes?"

"Fine, leftover grilled cheese." she surrendered, "Curiosity satisfied?" asked.

"That's sad. It's pathetic. A good day starts with a good breakfast."

"Look away, I'm not being seen with you in this hospital. Learn it, live it. It's unprofessional."

"Think of it as an attending getting to know one of his interns."

"He slept with the intern."

"Barely knew her."

"And should stay that way."

She was faster with the answers. He just smiled.

"You want me to be professional? I'll be professional."

"That's what I want."

"Then that's what you get…"

They sat in silence. For some reason, Derek couldn't take his eyes off hers. He felt foolish exactly like he felt when he was in love for the very first time in elementary school.

"You're gonna be late for your chordotomy." Meredith said trying to figure out **why** he was looking at her with that smile.

"Nice talking to you, dr. Grey." he said moving away.

He took another sip of coffee and threw the cup in the nearest trash. He was surprised to find Richard giving orders in front of the board. _**"Is there any time he goes home?"**_. He walked to the chief and stood beside him.

"A chordotomy at 05:00, Shepherd?" Richard asked.

"What are you doing here?"

"I always arrive a few hours before."

"You're completely crazy." Derek said, moving away.

"Ah! Derek!" the chief called.

The neurosurgeon stopped and turned to the chief.

"I have the head of the neonatal position open…"

"Don't even think about it." Derek said walking again.

"Could we talk about that?!" Richard asked aloud.

"Chordotomy. At 05:00!" Derek said without looking back.

He walked into the OR and smiled to see that the patient was ready. He washed his hands and finally entered the surgical center to do his first surgery of the day. When he looked at the gallery, he smiled to see that Meredith was there alone. It was too early for the interns after the rounds. He positioned beside the table and turned to the team.

"All right everybody. It's a beautiful day to save lives. Scalpel."

The scalpel was delivered to him and he soon began his day with the first cut. Meredith didn't stay there until the end of his procedure. At last, when he looked smiling at the gallery, he was disappointed to see that she was no longer there but some interns and residents he didn't even know the names. Then he closed the opening brain with no display and left to look for her in the hospital.

Many hours had passed since he had entered the OR. He was walking down one of the corridors when he was surprised by the story the nurses told about what used to happen every year that day. Because of that event, the ER was in chaos. Derek quickly remembered the bike race that nearly ran over him and dr. Bailey on the way to the hospital. He shook his head at the injured young men who arrived there at that minute and continued searching for the intern.

He found her in one of the examination rooms, suturing the side of a young man's abdomen. The patient made her smile in a relaxed manner. He was flirting with her. Derek crossed his arms and watched the whole attendance, and, in the end, the patient gave a light kiss to the intern's lips before leaving the room.

She smiled, shaking her head while she removed the gloves from her hands. Of course in her age, none of that was taken seriously, but when she looked out the glass window she was surprised to find the neurosurgeon staring at her with a closed countenance. He entered through the door and closed it.

"You make out with patients now?" he asked, still with his arms folded.

"What? Are you jealous?" she asked.

"I don't get jealous."

"You know… We had sex once."

"And we kissed in an elevator." Derek remembered.

"And we kissed in an elevator **once**." she said pretending it didn't matter.

"No, seriously. Go out with me." Derek asked again.

"No."

"You know, I almost died today."

She raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

"Yeah, I came like this close. How would you feel if I died and you didn't get a chance to go out with me?"

"Get over yourself already?"

"Come on."

"It's the chase, isn't it?"

"What?" he asked confused.

"The thrill of the chase. I've been wondering to myself, **why** are you so hell-bent on getting me to go out with you? You know you're my boss, you know it's against the rules, you know I keep saying no… It's the chase." she explained.

"Well, it's fun, isn't it?" he asked with a seductive smile on his face.

"You see? This is a game for you. But not to **me**. Because, unlike you, I still have something to prove."

After saying that Meredith left the room leaving him alone. He left soon and reached her in the hall.

"It's not the chase." he said.

"What?" she asked, pretending not to hear.

"You and me… It's not the thrill of the chase." he said walking backward in front of her, "It's not a game. It's…"

Meredith tried to deflect, but he always stood in front of her until she stopped in the middle of the hall. He didn't know what it was, but literally, it wasn't a game.

"It's your tiny, ineffectual fists and your hair..." he said taking a blonde wick from her face.

"My hair?"

"It smells good. And you're very very bossy. Keeps me in line."

Derek looked her up and down.

"I'm still not going out with you." Meredith said as she swerved past him.

"You say that now…"

He soon returned to work and went to the room of one of his patients. He was a middle-aged man, sturdy, who had severe spinal pain but actually went to the hospital to be medicated for being addicted to one of the medicines. Alex was the intern in that case and didn't agree to give the patient medication, but Derek ordered him to do it before he left.

* * *

Addison hurried down the hospital corridor. One of the interns ran after her with some exams in hand. The younger girl stopped the head of the maternal-fetal department in front of the elevator and showed her the ultrasound images, which the redhead studied carefully.

"Good morning, dr. Shepherd." Weiss said, standing beside his friend.

"Good joke." Addison said, returning the exams to the girl in front of her.

"Sorry." Weiss replied.

"Not you. Your joke was a bad one like always." she told her friend, "Good joke to **you**." she said turning to the intern.

"What?"

"It's wrong!" Addison exclaimed, "Can't you see it's wrong?! It's all **wrong**! You took the exam in the wrong position!"

"But dr. Shepherd…"

"It's wrong! That's not what I asked you! Go back and read the patient's chart again."

"Sorry, Doctor. I'm gonna do another one…"

"You can **not** do continuous ultrasonography in pregnant patients. Where did you **buy** your license, huh?!"

The girl was silent.

"Get out of my way."

"I… I'll… I'm sorry, dr. Shepherd."

"Go do something else and don't come any closer to my patient!"

The girl walked away startled. The elevator door opened, and Addison came in with Weiss. Nancy was already inside.

"I hate interns." she commented, pressing the floor button.

"What happened?" Nancy asked.

"An idiot did a lot of wrong ultrasonography on my patient and now I'll have to wait at least until tomorrow to operate her." the redhead explained, staring at her own impatient reflection in the mirror that took the entire closed elevator door.

"Ah! I was wanting to talk to you." Nancy said as if she had remembered something, "Did you reduce 80% of my c-sections?" she asked, "My patients called me saying that the hospital contacted them by canceling their c-sections. Did you do that?"

"I did. I spent the night here reviewing the cases of the department and I realized that many c-sections don't really need a c-section procedure. So, I asked my secretary to get in touch with these patients and warn them. The ethics policy of the hospital…"

Nancy was surprised.

"Why did you do that?" she asked.

Addison turned to face her sister-in-law.

"Because I spent the night reviewing the department's cases and..."

"You already told me that."

"That's the answer."

"You can't just cancel my patients!"

"I didn't cancel your patients. I just changed the way they'll bring their child into the world."

"You can't just **change the way** people bring their children to the world!"

"It's the ethics policy of the hospital, we don't do c-sections with any necessity. You know that."

"And how can you know more about my patients than I do?"

"I don't know, but… Please, Nancy! I have enough experience to know when a woman is recommended for a c-section and 80% of your patients would have a c-section simply because they asked you to, I'm sure."

The elevator door opened and Nancy exchanged a look with Weiss, who raised his eyebrow. The tall, thin, short-haired woman stepped out of the elevator and hurried to follow her sister-in-law.

"We need to talk about it." Nancy said.

"There's nothing to talk about, Nancy. Look, you didn't lose your patients, I'm sure. I asked to be notified if any of these women decided to move to another hospital and no one told me anything." Addison said, walking down the hallways, "This is Mount Sinai Hospital, one of the best hospitals in New York, people don't give up on a bed here so easy."

"I'm not talking about patients, I'm talking about you getting over **me** and totally changing the treatment of **my** patients!"

"It wasn't just yours, okay? I said I reviewed the **entire** department!"

"What did you get in your mind to go over the whole department?"

"It's my job!" Addison said, "Nancy, I have surgery now."

"You may have made a big mistake, Addison because you don't know those patients."

"Nancy, if one of those patients, during the labor, has to undergo an emergency c-section. We'll have an OR since they won't be occupied by unnecessary c-sections. Don't you worry."

Nancy shook her head.

"And **your** c-sections? Did you reduce too? Or only **you** can enter the ORs of this department?"

Addison stopped in front of the OR she would have to enter and turned to her sister-in-law.

"I am the **surgeon** of this department, I am a neonatal surgeon, my job is to go into an OR and use a scalpel. You're an OB-GYN, your job is to get into an OR when you **need** it. Besides, I'm the head of this department, I do what I think is the best and you obey. I'm doing my job."

"You've never done this before."

"Yeah… Because your brother hadn't gone away with my daughter before. I could use my free time to take care of her. Now I need to get busy with something and that's my job. I have to go."

She stepped into the operating room and let the air relax her body. She looked through the glass and saw the patient was already lying down. Then, she walked to the sink to wash her hands. When she took the rings out of her fingers, she stared for a few seconds at her wedding ring, but then she put it on a pin with the other rings and fastened them on her uniform. After scrubbing, she entered the surgical center and finally started to work.

* * *

Derek was angry with Alex Karev. Although he had made it clear that he wanted him to medicate the patient, even though he knew he was only there for that, Alex didn't, causing the patient to scream in pain calling the attention of the entire hospital. After scolding the intern, he walked to the elevator and waited until the door opened so he went up to the daycare to visit his daughter. But when the door opened, Meredith was there alone. He smiled as entered, because he knew she had no choice but to stay in the elevator with him.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Meredith remained silent.

"Not seems you're okay."

"I am." she answered.

"Well, let me take you out to dinner tonight. You can tell me all about it. Real food, waiters, big chunks of carbs in a basket."

"I can't"

Her pager biped and she quickly pulled back to check on it.

"Forget about the party…"

"You know about the party?"

"Your friends will be at the party. You and I can be alone somewhere else."

"How do you know about the party?"

"Thanks for not inviting me, by the way. That felt good."

"Because the party is not mine, but even if it was... I don't want all the interns know about us."

"We exist?" Derek asked.

The elevator door opened, and she left without answering. He laughed at himself and waited for the door to close again. The elevator went up to the daycare, and as he left, Derek soon spotted his daughter sitting among some pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that formed the world map. He surprised her with a kiss on the cheek and sat down next to her.

"How was the morning at school?" he asked.

"Cool." she said, fitting a piece.

"Cool _cool_? Or cool _shit_ like the last time?"

"Cool _cool_. I made a friend. Hailey."

"Great name."

"Yeah. She's cool."

"Are you gonna have lunch with me?"

"I've already had lunch."

"Have you had lunch? But I came to get you to have lunch with me."

"You're late."

"Yeah. I was in surgery, you know how it is."

"No problem."

"You're coming back with aunt Adele again, okay?"

"Again?"

"It's just… Dad has to do something. But, listen, I promise that from tomorrow we're gonna come home every day together, okay? We can go to the mall tomorrow."

"Are you gonna let me buy whatever I want?" Katie asked.

"I will. But only if you help me choose a lot of nice movies for us, what do you tell me?"

"I already have a lot of movies in mind!" the girl said sitting on her father's lap.

"Then put it all on a list because we're gonna buy them all."

Derek hugged her against his body and kissed her head.

"We have to buy popcorn, too." Katie said.

"We'll buy everything you want."

"Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow."

"I'll charge you."

"You're an expert on that." Derek said.

The girl laughed.

"Daddy, will you give me a cell phone?" Katie asked, looking at her father.

Derek swallowed.

"Why do you want a cell phone?"

"Everyone has a cell phone."

"Not five-year-olds."

"But I had a cell phone in New York."

"I've always been against you having a cell phone in New York."

"Please…"

"You don't need to have a cell phone here in Seattle, because I'll always be around when you need to, okay?"

He kissed the girl's face, which just grinned.

"I know it's hard for you. But everything will be right soon."

Katie was silent.

"We can go to the cinema sometimes, what do you think?" Derek asked.

"The same day we go on the ferryboat?" the girl asked.

"What?"

"You live by promising things unfulfilled."

She stepped out of his lap and sat down beside him, paying attention to the pieces of the puzzle again. Derek was silent as his daughter pretended he wasn't there, so he gave her a slow kiss on the cheek and pulled her lightly.

"Dad has to go. We'll talk later, okay?"

"Okay."

"I love you."

Katie didn't answer, she just was silent while her father walked away. He caught a glimpse as he stepped into the elevator and the door closed.

* * *

When the shift was over, Derek changed his uniform and drove to Meredith's house. He had been there only once, the first time they had slept together, but the closeness of the hospital was such that he would not forget the path. When he stopped the car ahead, he saw through the window the movement of young people coming in and dancing with drinks in their hands inside. He was surprised to see that Bailey was there, too. He got out of the car and stood with his arms crossed.

After a few minutes, Meredith went out the door with a bottle of tequila in her hands and sat in a wooden chair in front. He smiled, shaking his head and coming toward her.

"So, you blew me off for a bottle of tequila?" he asked surprising her, "Tequila's no good for you… Doesn't call, doesn't write. It's not nearly as much fun to wake up to."

Meredith smiled.

"Don't you have a daughter? At this time, you should be taking care of her."

"I told you that she does very well with Richard and Adele."

Meredith stood up, took a few steps toward her boss, and kissed him. Derek felt himself shiver. For some days ago he had been hoping to feel the taste of her again on his lips, then soon sucked her tongue softly, but she quickly pulled away.

"Take me for a ride, Derek." she said.

Derek smiled and pulled her around the waist. They got into his car and the door was locked. Derek was sitting in the driver's seat and quickly lowered his pants with difficulty as Meredith did the same. He reached into the glove compartment for a condom, which covered his erection. He groaned as the intern sat on top of him.

He put his hands inside her blond hair and moaned to kiss her while she moved over him. Her perfume was sweet, different to him, but by then he was already addicted to that scent. His hands ran down her back, stopping on her backside, which he tapped lightly.

"Mnn… Derek…"

He smiled and continued moaning as he allowed her to do everything in her own way. After a few minutes, the movement of the party was already milder, the two stopped, sweating, and looked at each other, completely satisfied.

"You know, it sounds like the party's winding down." Derek said, "We should probably sneak inside now."

"No, no, no. We've done enough sneaking for the night." Meredith said, "It was good sneaking, but enough sneaking."

"Yeah, I'd say we're pretty good sneakers." he said smiling.

They heard three beats on the glass and turned to see what it was about. It was Bailey giving them a reproving look.

"You mind moving this tail wagon? You're blocking me in."

She quickly stepped away and Meredith and Derek exchanged glances, knowing that would not bring them good things the next day.

* * *

Katie was surprised when she woke up in the morning and felt her father's arm pressing her against his chest. She turned on the bed causing him to wake up and then felt his lips kiss her forehead.

"Good morning, sweetie." he said.

"I didn't see when you arrived." the girl said sitting cross-legged on the bed.

Derek ran his hands over his eyes and stood still sleepy to sit in front of his daughter.

"I know. It was too late. You were already sleeping."

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Because you look like a sleeping angel." Derek said, running his finger over her nose, "So, I've decided to sleep here with you. Now, come on, I know today you don't have to go to school and I'm gonna take you to the hospital with me. You'll stay there in daycare and then we'll go out to lunch in a nice place. How we arranged it, remember?"

"Buy DVD?"

"Buy DVD." he confirmed, running a hand through her hair.

"Come on."

They quickly got out of bed and then went downstairs to have breakfast with Adele, since Richard had left the same time, as usual, to go to the hospital.

"I thought you were gonna stay here all day with me." Adele lamented.

"We're gonna buy a lot of movies, aren't we, daddy?"

"Yeah, sweetie."

"I can't stand the idea that you guys live in that trailer! I marked some apartments for sale here close by, Derek..."

"We like the trailer." Derek said.

"It's not possible that someone likes living in a can…"

Derek and Katie looked at each other.

"It's cool!" Katie said.

"Are you really the daughter of Addison Montgomery?" Adele asked.

They laughed. It wasn't long before they went out together. Derek drove to the hospital and when they got out, without him expecting it, he had parked next to Meredith's car, which was pounding on the door.

"Damn!" the blond girl exclaimed.

"Damn?" Derek asked, closing his door.

"Damn?" Katie asked.

"Katie!" Derek chided.

"Hi! I'm late." Meredith said, moving away.

Derek hurried to follow her and Katie to follow her father.

"Are you avoiding me?" Derek asked following her in the parking lot.

"Yes. And I'm late, too." Meredith said, going her way.

"Come on, Katie." Derek said, pulling his daughter by the hand to try to accompany the intern, "Shouldn't we talk about yesterday?" he asked softly so he believed only Meredith could hear.

"No."

"Why are you acting like this?"

"I don't wanna talk about that."

"It's getting complicated every day." Derek said, standing in front of the elevator.

"Complicated for **me**! I'm an intern sleeping with an attendant!"

"It's not that bad." he said with a smile on his lips.

"Yes." Meredith said, moving away.

The door opened and some people left. Derek walked in with his daughter and waited for the door to close.

"Daddy, why's it complicated to sleep with an attending?" the girl asked.

Derek was surprised and turned to the girl.

"Why are you paying attention to an adult conversation?"

"Because I'm not deaf."

"Very funny you. Listen, you learned the way to my office, didn't you?" he asked, changing the subject, "I'll wait for you there, but if you get there and I'm not, it's because I'm busy doing something else. So you'll wait for me, okay?"

"Okay."

The elevator door opened on the daycare floor and Katie turned to her father.

"It's all right. Go on." he said giving a kiss on the face of the girl, "I love you."

"I love you too." she said, kissing him on the cheek.

Derek smiled as he watched the girl walk away. It's been a while since she last responded to an _I love you_ from him. The elevator door closed and he down to the floor of his office, quickly changed his clothes and went to meet his first patient.

* * *

Mark saw that Nancy was meeting at a table with Liz and Kathleen when he entered the hospital cafeteria.

"May I join the Shepherd meeting?" he asked.

"Sit down." Nancy said as he sat down, "I'm telling them that Addison's getting worse every day. She's being a real bitch."

"What did she do?" Mark asked.

"She simply canceled all my c-sections."

Mark was surprised by the news.

"Why did she do that?" he asked.

"That's the part of the 'bitch'. She's angry about life and wants to cash in on everyone."

"She needs therapy." Kathleen commented.

"Go ahead and see what kind of kick you're gonna take." Nancy told her sister.

"I'm serious." Kath said, "You have no idea how bad experiences can hit someone. She's all alone..."

"She's not alone." Mark said.

"Noble your effort, but she **feels** alone." the therapist said, "This is how people react to abandonment, they isolate themselves, close themselves to anything... First for people, then for feelings..."

"Derek didn't abandon her. He had a **reason** to leave." Nancy said, "Have you ever thought about that? And you? You're his sister!"

"Trauma's not what's right, it's what goes on inside people's heads." Kathleen explained.

"She's crazy. Completely crazy. She spends the whole night here in the hospital, analyzing the medical records of all the patients in the department, to judge which one needs and doesn't need a c-section." Nancy said, "This is craziness!"

"She needs therapy." Kath repeated.

"That's what I say."

"Does anyone know how she really is?" Liz asked, "I mean... Did those panic attacks come back?"

"The only person who can know this is Amelia." Nancy said before taking a bite of the sandwich in her hand, "She's the one Addison allows to get into Brownstone." she said with her mouthful, "But she'd never say what Addison doesn't wanna be told. You know..." Nancy took a sip of the juice to release the airways, "They're friends."

"She didn't have any more crises." Mark said, "But she really did shut herself up for everything... It'd be good for you to look for her to have a conversation."

"I'll do it." Kathleen said.

Mark set the rest of his sandwich on the table and got up.

"Where are you going?" Liz asked.

"See if she's already had lunch."

"Ladies, have you ever seen Mark Sloan in love?" Nancy asked the sisters, "Here he is!"

"It was funny." he said, throwing a napkin at his friend.

Mark left the cafeteria and searched for Addison in her department and was soon informed that she was no longer in the hospital. Quickly he changed his clothes and got his car to go to her house. When he reached Brownstone, he rang the bell, and Addison answered in seconds with the same hopeful countenance with which she always answered the door, making him feel guilty for not being who she expected.

"Hi, Mark." she said entering.

Mark also went in and closed the door, while Addison sat back on the couch and put a box of chips in her lap, which she should have bought on the way to the hospital.

"Go wear one of those nice clothes."

"What?" she asked, shifting the TV channel.

"We're going out."

"No. We're not going." Addison said, "Sit down, Mark. Look, this channel has a movie starring. Matrix. Do you like?"

"No Matrix for today." Mark said, taking the remote control of her hand, "Come on. Put on one of those cool designer dresses..."

"Mark, I'm gonna stand here watching the Matrix and eating my fries with lots of ketchup... It's a treat. Wanna try it?" she asked.

"I wanna try something else." he said with a smile on his lips.

"You respect me!" she said throwing a potato at him.

They laughed. Mark took the potato filet from his shirt and ate it.

"Seriously. I wanna taste a good plate of food in a good restaurant. Thank God we're in New York. So let's go"

"I don't wanna go anywhere... I'm fine."

"It's that fattening thing, isn't it?" Mark asked.

"How?" she asked taking some more potatoes to her mouth.

"When you and Derek fought and you ate, ate, ate... You just had to live in the college cafeteria because you wanted to get fat." he recalled, "You have a marathoner's metabolism. Accept that and come eat with me to a good restaurant."

"No."

"It's that fattening thing."

"Yeah... It's that fattening thing."

"Let's get fat in a good restaurant then."

"I'm a mess, Mark! Look at me." she said, "I don't feel like doing anything!"

"I didn't come to ask your wishes, I came to take you to lunch in a good restaurant."

Addison looked at her friend and smiled.

"You should take the holy trophy of the year... When are you gonna give me up, huh?"

"Let me see... I think... **Never**!" he said with a smile, "Come on. Choose the best dress."

"Seriously, Mark. I don't really want to. I'm even having something, a feeling…" Addison said, "It's as if something good is happening to me here at home. Today."

"Ah! Ma'am Addison, do you see the future and bring the person you love in three days?" he asked standing up.

They laughed.

"Come on, ma'am Addison. The best dress." he said, pulling her hand.

"Mark..."

"**The best dress**!"

She smiled, then got up and walked to the stairs to change her clothes. Mark smiled as he sat back on the couch.

* * *

Katie glanced around to make sure she was in the right hall. She had not been there yet, but according to what Derek had described, she was on the right track, even though she believed that in a hospital all the corridors were the same. Her certainty only came when she found a white door at the end of the hallway with a rectangular plaque in the middle, where it read: "Derek Shepherd, M.D.". She entered the office, which had the door open, and was surprised to see that it was empty. Then she just walked into and sat down in her father's comfortable chair. She stood there waiting for a few minutes without knowing what to do. She read the prescriptions on the desk when she had the idea of searching for Derek's cell phone and enjoying the moment alone to call her mother.

The girl got up and opened the closet beside a white sofa. She grabbed her father's bag and searched for his cell phone. She found it and sat down with it on the couch. As she swiped her finger at the screen, she was disappointed to see that the phone had a password.

"My birthday..." she whispered before typing her birth date on the screen.

Access denied. She took a deep breath.

"Grandma's birthday..."

The girl typed her grandmother's birth date on the screen, but again access was denied.

"**His** birthday..."

She typed in her father's birthday, but this time, not only was access denied, but the phone locked until confirmation of data. Katie shivered. She put the phone back into his father's bag and tossed it into the closet. She sat back in his chair and picked up the phone, which he had on the table, dialed her home phone number and waited for the call to be completed."

"Come on, mommy... Answer..."

_"Your call is being routed..."_

She hung up the call and tried again. She waited anxiously.

_"Your call is being routed..."_

She again put her finger to finish the call and for the third time dialed the number of her house in New York. A few more minutes passed, until the automatic message came up again. Then Derek's voice popped up on the other end of the line making her feel guilty for disobeying him.

_"Hi, this is Addison and Derek Shepherd's phone, and if we're not picking it up, we're probably in the hospital. Leave your message we'll get back as soon as we can."_

"Hey, mommy? It's me, Katie. I... I'm missing you so much. Every night, I have dreams with you. I wish you were here. Daddy said that on vacation we'll go to New York and I'll be able to see you, but it's gonna take a long time, right? So you could talk to him and you could come to visit me. We're fine, it's cool here, the hospital he works is cool too, there's a daycare where I can do my ballet classes, painting and some, but I really wish you were here. You know, I..."

"Derek..."

The door opened and Katie immediately put the phone back on the hook, as she stared at Meredith with a startled look.

"Katie, I imagine." the intern said entering the room.

"Mmrm... I... I was not doing anything... I was playing."

"You don't have to worry. I'll not tell your father anything." Meredith said, "Hasn't he come by yet?"

"No, he... I... He... I'm waiting for him."

"Mnn..."

"Did he tell you to wait for him, too?"

"No. I came to get him a message."

"Are you his friend?"

"Mnnrnn."

"Ah!"

They were both silents.

"Your name... It's Katie, isn't it?

"Yeah. Katherine, actually."

"Beautiful name."

"My mother thought so too."

Meredith was embarrassed by her remark. Then she took a few steps closer.

"So, Katie... How old are you?"

"Five."

"Five years..."

"Why?"

"Nothing... It's that... When I was five years old it was just me and my mother also in a different city."

"Really?"

Meredith nodded.

"And what about your father?"

"My mother was a surgeon too..." Meredith said not wanting to speak about her father.

"My mother too, she..."

The door opened and Derek was surprised to see Meredith talking to his daughter.

"Hi... Are you here?" he asked in fear.

"Daddy, I'm waiting for you." the girl said.

He approached the girl and kissed her on the forehead.

"Dr. Shepherd, Mr. Leinis is looking forward to DBS, as long as we do today." Meredith said.

"Perfect. I'm going out to have lunch with her and when I get back, I want him to be ready for the surgery."

"Yes, sir."

The intern left the room, leaving the father and daughter alone.

"Does she do everything you ask for?" the girl asked.

"She does, because it's her job. So? Where do you wanna have lunch?"

"Anywhere."

"I'll change my clothes and we'll go, okay?"

"Mnnrnn."

Derek took his clothes from the closet and walked to the small bathroom to change.

"Have you been waiting for a long time?" Derek asked from the bathroom.

"Not really."

"And what you were talking about with Dr. Grey?"

"Nothing. She had just arrived. She told me she's your friend."

"Yes, she is."

"And that she thinks my name's beautiful."

"That's good, isn't it? You really have a nice name."

"Oh, she said that when she was my age, it was just her and her mother, just like you and me."

Derek left the bathroom, still buttoning his shirt.

"And what else?"

"What else what?"

"What else did you guys talk about?"

"Then you entered..."

Derek breathed in relief. He walked to the closet, took out his wallet, his car keys and his cell phone and put it in his pocket.

"Come on?"

"Come on." the girl said, coming down from the chair.

Katie took her father's hand and stepped out of the office.

"Your chair is very comfortable."

"Do you think so?" he asked smiling.

"Yes!"

"I also think. It's a shame I don't spend all day sitting on it."

They laughed.

* * *

Addison came laughing with Mark at her house after hearing him talk about how Nancy was angry because she canceled 80% of her c-sections. They soon sat on the couch as she took off her high-heeled shoes to ease her feet and took the remote control to see what she had on tv.

"There's a message on your answering machine." Mark said, seeing the green dot blinking on his friend's phone.

"Ah! Leave it there... It must be for Derek. Since he disappeared, his appointments keep ringing, leaving messages... A shit."

"Let's listen."

"No... Leave it there." Addison said, standing up, "Do you want a beer?"

"You just had red wine in a first-class restaurant..."

"Shut up."

She walked into the house and walked to the kitchen. She was taking the two bottles of beer in the refrigerator when she heard Mark calling for her.

"ADDIE! COME HERE!"

"I'M ON MY WAY!"

"FAST! IT'S **KATIE**!"

She let the two bottles fall from her hands, smashed to the floor, and quickly rushed into the living room.

"Where?"

"Listen to this..."

Mark pressed the green button on the phone and the message soon began.

_"Hey, mommy? It's me, Katie."_

The tears immediately began to fall down Addison's face, while she approached the phone.

"_I... I'm missing you so much."_

"Mommy's also missing you, baby." she said, crying.

"_ Every night, I have dreams with you. I wish you were here. Daddy said that on vacation we'll go to New York and I'll be able to see you, but it's gonna take a long time, right? So you could talk to him and you could come to visit me."_

"Where? Tell mommy where..."

"_ We're fine, it's cool here, the hospital he works is cool too, there's a daycare where I can do my ballet classes, painting and some, but I really wish you were here. You know, I..."_

The sound of the phone hitting the hook quickly made Addison come back scared to her friend.

"What happened?"

"I don't know..."

"She didn't say where she was."

"I think she was calling hidden, and someone came."

"Where's she? I wanna go get her... Where's she?" Addison asked, crying.

"Addison, calm down. She's fine. She said she's fine and that..."

"WHERE'S SHE, MARK? I WANNA KNOW WHERE MY DAUGHTER IS!"

"Addie..."

"WHERE'S SHE?"

Mark came and hugged her.

"Where is she?" Addison asked, crying against his chest, "Where is she?"

* * *

Derek woke up with the beep of the alarm ringing loudly in the room. He felt the girl who was in his arms stirring and opened his eyes, still very sleepy. He had not slept much the night before. After the DBS, he followed Meredith to her house and completely forgot about his life.

"You have to get up now." Meredith said, sitting on the bed pulling the sheet to cover her breasts.

"Oh my God!" he moaned, rubbing his eyes, "What time is it? Did I forget Katie again at Richard and Adele's?"

"It's 5:20, and I have pre-rounds. And you have to leave before they see you."

"Oh, come on… Why don't you just let them see?" Derek asked, pulling her into a kiss.

Meredith smiled at him.

"They can't see you."

"What's the problem?"

"Bailey will already be catching my foot. I don't want them to either." Meredith said referring to Izzie and George, who shared the house with her.

"Bailey is looking for warpath and I was trying to protect you." Derek said as she walked into the bathroom.

"You trying to protect me is why she's on the warpath." the intern said picking up the toothbrush, "You can't do me favors?" she asked returning to him, "You can't ask me to scrub in when I haven't earned it."

"Okay."

"And you can't treat me like crap when I haven't earned that." she said going back to the bathroom, "I can take care of myself."

He went into the bathroom and hugged her from behind.

"I got myself into this mess, and I…"

"And you get yourself yet?" he asked kissing her neck.

"I don't know that yet."

"Oh, don't you know?" Derek asked, turning her around.

Derek brought his face close to hers and kissed her. Then Meredith smiled at his lips and walked away.

"Come on, you have to go."

"I have to go." he said lightly kissing her lips.

"You have to go."

"I have."

"Go, Derek!"

He gave her a last kiss and finally walked away to get dressed and leave unnoticed. When he arrived at his friends' house, Adele opened the door and led him to the dining room table, where Katie was having breakfast with her, ready to go to school.

"Hi, sweetheart…" he said giving a kiss to her daughter's face.

"Sit down with us." Adele said, returning to her seat, "Richard's exploring you."

"Yeah… I…"

"You don't have to worry about dropping her off at school in that state."

"You're right." Derek said, putting coffee in a cup.

"But I want you to drop me off." Katie said.

Derek and Adele were surprised at the request and exchanged a look.

"Honey, your daddy can't drive sleepy." Adele said.

"He drove this far." the girl said.

"Okay. I'll take you."

"You're already sick of aunt Adele, huh?" Adele asked.

"Of course not. I love you."

Katie ate in silence, then wiped her mouth elegantly with her napkin and stood up.

"Daddy, it's our time."

Derek took one last sip of his coffee and got up. The girl said goodbye to Adele and went out with her father. They got in the car, Derek waited for Katie to sit next to him, put on her seat belt, and then he started driving.

"I'm so glad you chose to come with me." Derek said.

Katie didn't answer, just kept looking forward.

"Lately you have not preferred being with me." he said.

The girl was silent again.

"Are you gonna leave me talking to myself?"

She didn't answer.

"Did I do something?" he asked.

Her silence disturbed him.

"Say something, sweetie. If I did something..."

"It looks the other way around."

"What?"

"It seems **like** you don't wanna be with me lately."

"How do you mean, princess?" he asked, taking his eyes off the road to look at her.

"You leave me most of the time at aunt Adele's house. I have a room there. It was a guest room, but she already bought many things for me. Did you know that you are the only person I have in this city? When you leave me alone, I keep thinking that if something happens to me, no one will ever know. So, I wanted to talk to my mommy and tell her where I am. Because if anything happens to me, she can look for me."

Derek parked the car in front of his daughter's school and looked at the girl.

"Katie…"

He removed his seatbelt and reached out to wipe away her daughter's tears.

"I wanna go back to New York. I wanna go back to live with my mom. Please, daddy, let's go home?"

"Baby..."

"Please..."

"We have a life in Seattle now."

"There is no life! We don't even have a house."

"I thought you liked the trailer."

"I like. Sometimes. But it's too cold at night. I only like it when you're there."

"Sit here with dad." he said, pulling his daughter to sit on his lap, "Don't cry, sweetheart. We're here at the front of your school."

Katie continued to cry.

"Don't you cry. Dad's here with you."

The girl continued crying against her father's chest.

"Don't cry, Katie. It's all right. Let's do it like this: You skip class today and I skip work."

He kissed her forehead and continued stroking her black hair.

"Go back to your seat. Let's do that shopping we'd do at the mall."

Katie sat down next to her father and wiped away her tears as she replaced the seat belt.

"I don't like it when you cry like that, I feel really bad."

"I'm sorry…"

"You have nothing to apologize for. You're the most important person in my life. I love you." he said.

"And mommy?"

Derek was surprised by the question, then exchanged a quick look with his daughter.

"Your mom, baby... I don't think I love your mother anymore. I'm sorry, princess."

"Do you love another woman?" she asked.

Derek gasped and swallowed.

"Where did you get that, princess?"

"There was a girl in my ballet class in New York, and her parents broke up too, because her daddy fell in love with another woman and stopped loving her mom. But her mother was boring! Mom wasn't boring, was she?"

"No, darling. Your mother was not boring."

"Then why don't you love her anymore?"

Derek didn't know how to answer that question without telling his daughter what had taken them out of New York. Then he was silent for a few seconds, just driving, but he knew Katie was still looking at him, waiting for the answer.

"This is adult stuff, honey."

"Damn it! Why don't you ever wanna talk about adult things with me?" Katie asked.

"Because you're a child."

"I'm a child, but I'm not stupid!"

"Hey. Where did you learn these things?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry."

Derek drove into the mall garage, and soon he and Katie went down to the store. They had fun buying movies, all Katie had put on her list and a few more that she said she would not watch, but Derek insisted on saying she would love.

Katie didn't see any problem in Seattle when she was with her father, they used to have fun together, but soon something was happening to end the moment. Like Derek's pager, which biped just as they ate and chatted smiling in a fast-food.

"You have to go." the girl said.

"Yeah... I have this patient. But it's nothing serious."

"If you need to go..."

Derek appreciated her daughter's effort to understand his work, then smiled at her.

"Do you know what? I have an amazing idea for us to have fun there in the hospital."

"What?" Katie asked excitedly.

"I'll introduce my patients to you. Do you want to?"

Katie nodded. They took the bags and went to the hospital. When they arrived, Derek carried his daughter and entered with her. After picking up the elevator to get down on the neurology floor, Derek walked through the hallways of the rooms, showing his patients through the glass.

"Do you see that little girl there?" he asked pointing to the blond girl, who was about three years old and was lying on the bed, "She has seizures in her left leg. Look."

Katie glanced at the child's leg, which was the only trembling point in her body.

"Why?" the girl asked looking at her father.

"Because one side of her brain is dead, and I have to get that part of her brain off so the other part doesn't die either."

"And can she live with only half of her brain?"

"Yes. She's still a child and can recover the lost neurons. She looks like a princess, doesn't she?"

"Hnnrnn."

"Let's go next."

Derek took a few steps and stopped in front of the next room.

"This is Mrs. Donald, she has a brain tumor that is causing her to lose her memory. I'm gonna have to get in there and remove that tumor. Is small."

"Will she regain her memory?"

"Hope so."

He walked again carrying his daughter and stopped in front of another patient.

"Mr. Renis, he has a kind of tumor in his spine that makes it difficult for him to walk. We'll try to take it, but we don't know what kind of sequel this has already left."

"Is not he gonna walk again?"

"Certainly not."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

He was walking into another room when the pager beeped again at his waist. Derek soon pulled out the device and saw what it was about. Katie read it, too. She knew that the word _emergency_ meant that her father could not escape that call.

"You really have to go." she said, hugging his neck.

"Yes." Derek said, kissing her daughter's shoulder, "But tonight we're gonna watch all those movies. I won't even let you sleep."

Katie smiled and got down from her father's lap.

"I'll take you to daycare."

"No need."

"Are you sure?"

"Hnnrnn."

He kissed his daughter's face, then looked into her eyes.

"I love you."

"I love you too." the girl said.

Derek walked with Katie to the elevator, put her in and when he arrived in the ER, he ran to the stretcher to which he had been called. It was a pregnant woman who had seizures while shopping for her trousseau. He quickly checked her pupils and asked Meredith to accompany her on a CT.

"Let's sleep in your house tomorrow." the intern said as she pushed the patient's stretcher off with him.

"What?" Derek asked.

"Why do we always have to sleep at **my** house? Don't you have a home?"

"I have a daughter, remember?"

"Doesn't she have a room of her own?"

"Do you wanna meet my daughter?" he asked as they entered the empty elevator.

"No. But you know everything about my life and I hardly know anything about you."

The elevator door opened, and they left, pushing the stretcher.

"I'm from New York, I like ferryboats."

"Enough with the ferryboats!" Meredith said, "What about your friends?"

"I'm a surgeon. I don't have friends."

"Everybody has friends."

Derek kept pushing the stretcher in silence.

"I mean, who do you hang out with? What do you do in your days off? These are important questions."

"Ah, important for who?"

"We're having sex every night. I think I deserve details."

"You have more details the most."

Richard raised one eyebrow as he listened to the conversation passing by.

"See, this is going somewhere weird." Meredith said now entering the examination room, "I'm not asking you to talk about the past that causes you pain, I'm not asking you to talk about your daughter's mother."

"What do you know about her mother?" Derek asked worriedly.

"Nothing, but if she died and it causes pain. I don't wanna know." the intern said, "I want facts, and until I get them, my pants are staying on."

Derek's pager biped again and he soon checked to see what it was about.

"Or you could just roll with it. Be flexible and see what happens. We'll find these things out." he said leaving.

He returned to the ER, where, now, a middle-aged man stood on a stretcher with some nurses upstairs trying to clean his wounds. According to the chart, he had fallen by climbing a rock. Derek gave a quick read to know what had happened so far, then approached the patient.

"Let's do some testing. Can you move your finger?" he asked, looking at the patient's feet.

"Is it moving?"

"No. Did you fall by climbing a rock?" Derek asked, passing a needle through the man's leg that seemed to feel nothing.

"It was a small rock".

"Your x-ray is clean." the doctor said, looking back at the x-ray on the light board.

"Should I be frightened?"

"No. Try to relax. Nurse, I need an MRI. Send an intern with him. Meredith Grey."

Richard concentrated on what he heard, stopped the nurse in the middle of the path, and changed the surgeon's order.

"Don't call Meredith Grey for that case. Call George O'Malley."

"Yes, sir."

The chief came out of the ER and took the elevator to his office. When he arrived, he soon met Patricia, his secretary, seated in front of her desk.

"Get me a call with Mount Sinai Hospital in New York. Talk to Dr. Addison Shepherd, neonatal department."

"Yes, chief."

He stepped into his office and sat down in his comfortable chair thinking about what was happening. Within a few seconds, the phone on his desk rang and he quickly answered.

"Yeah?"

"Dr. Webber, I was informed that Dr. Shepherd didn't go to work today."

"Damn!" he complained, "Ok, Patricia."

He returned the phone to the place and took the cell phone in his pocket. He called Adele.

"Dear?" she answers.

"I need you to give me the Shepherds' house number."

"In New York?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I'll send you a message."

"Thank you."

Richard's pager biped and he quickly moved to see what it was about.

"I have to go."

"Okay."

* * *

Mark's cell phone rang and he answered it.

"I'm already here." the female voice said on the other end of the line.

"Okay."

He put it back in his pocket and walked to the door to open it. Kathleen smiled, then walked into her sister-in-law's house. She had not touched the bell, because she knew the reaction Addison had to the sound.

"How's she?" she asked as Mark closed the door.

"She took the phone to her room, she's been listening to the message since yesterday. She spent the whole night crying and listening. She must have heard about 300 times already."

"Come on."

The day was coming to an end in New York. Kathleen climbed the stairs with Mark and walked in the hallways to the bedroom at the end, she knew that was Addison's room. As she entered the open door, she found her sister-in-law lying on the bed, her head on Amelia's lap and the white telephone in front of her, she was pressing the green button again to hear the answering machine's message.

_"Hey, mommy? It's me, Katie. I... I'm missing you so much. Every night, I have dreams with you. I wish you were here. Daddy said that on vacation we'll go to New York and I'll be able to see you, but it's gonna take a long time, right? So you could talk to him and you could come to visit me. We're fine, it's cool here, the hospital he works is cool too, there's a daycare where I can do my ballet classes, painting and some, but I really wish you were here. You know, I..."_

The sound of the phone hitting the hook quickly hurt in Addison's heart. Kathleen came over and sat down opposite her sister-in-law.

"Addie." she said putting a red wick behind her ear.

Addison again pressed the button and the message resumed. Kath exchanged a look with Amelia.

_"Hey, mommy? It's me, Katie. I... I'm missing you so much. Every night, I have dreams with you. I wish you were here. Daddy said that on vacation we'll go to New York and I'll be able to see you, but it's gonna take a long time, right? So you could talk to him and you could come to visit me. We're fine, it's cool here, the hospital he works is cool too, there's a daycare where I can do my ballet classes, painting and some, but I really wish you were here. You know, I..."_

She takes a deep breath and again pressed the button.

_"Hey, mommy? It's me, Katie. I... I'm missing you so much." _

Kathleen took off her shoes as she heard the message again.

_"So you could talk to him and you could come to visit me."_

Then she lay down in front of her sister-in-law and stared into her eyes.

"B_ut I really wish you were here. You know, I..."_

Kathleen saw tears forming in the tear duct of her sister-in-law's big blue eyes, then plunging down her face as she pressed the button again to hear the message.

_"Hey, mommy? It's me, Katie. I... I'm missing you so much. Every night, I have dreams with you. I wish you were here. Daddy said that on vacation we'll go to New York and I'll be able to see you, but it's gonna take a long time, right? So you could talk to him and you could come to visit me. We're fine, it's cool here, the hospital he works is cool too, there's a daycare where I can do my ballet classes, painting and some, but I really wish you were here. You know, I..."_

Addison took a deep breath. She was about to press the button again when Kathleen placed her hand over hers.

"Enough, Addie."

The redhead shook her head.

"Let's talk about it?" the therapist asked.

"I don't wanna talk about anything, Kath. I just wanna stay here, listening to my daughter's voice. I'm waiting for her to call me again."

"Addie. Honey. You need to breathe."

"I'm an idiot! An **idiot**! I was sure something was gonna happen. I **felt** I had to stay at home, but I went out with Mark and…"

Addison cried again.

"She wanted to talk to me, Kath." she said, crying, "My daughter misses me, she… She dreams of me."

"Oh, dear…" Kathleen said, stroking her sister-in-law's face and wiping away her tears.

"She didn't even finish talking, and she had to hang up, because..."

"Addie, you need to calm down. You're very tense, okay?"

"I can't. I need to talk to her, I need to **look** at her."

"Calm down. Breathe. Mark told me you've not eaten anything since lunch yesterday. You didn't have lunch today either and... Amy, do something for dinner that we're all gonna eat." Kathleen said.

"I don't wanna eating anything, I..."

She was already going to bring her finger back to the answering machine button when Kathleen held her hand again.

"Enough of this message for today, okay?"

Addison sat on the bed and wiped her tears away.

"I'll make dinner." Amelia said, rising to leave the room.

"Why did you call her?" Addison asked, turning to Mark.

"I thought…"

"I don't need a therapist, okay?"

"Hey." Kathleen said, "I'm not here as your therapist. I wanna help you."

"Go away! Actually, go away all of you." she said as she lay back down in front of the phone.

She pressed the answering machine button again, and Katie's voice became in the bedroom.

_"Hey, mommy? It's me, Katie. I... I'm missing you so much. Every night, I have dreams with you. I wish you were here. Daddy said that on vacation we'll go to New York and I'll be able to see you, but it's gonna take a long time, right? So you could talk to him and you could come to visit me. We're fine, it's cool here, the hospital he works is cool too, there's a daycare where I can do my ballet classes, painting and some, but I really wish you were here. You know, I..."_

Mark turned his head and saw that Addison's cell phone, tossed between the bedsheets, received a call.

"There's a call here on your cell phone." Mark said, picking up the phone.

"Who is it?" Addison asked.

"Richard Webber. Do you still have contact with him?"

"Derek did. Turns off. I'm not in a position to…"

"You still have contact with Richard Webber?" Kathleen asked as Addison put the message back to play.

"He calls from time to time to offer a position he has open at his hospital. He's chief of surgery now."

"He's calling again." Mark said.

"Turn that device off, Mark."

Mark obeyed. He turned the receiver off and tossed it aside. Addison again pressed the button to play the voice message.

_"Hey, mommy? It's me, Katie. I... I'm missing you so much. Every night, I have dreams with you. I wish you were here. Daddy said that on vacation we'll go to New York and I'll be able to see you, but it's gonna take a long time, right? So you could talk to him and you could come to visit me. We're fine, it's cool here, the hospital he works is cool too, there's a daycare where I can do my ballet classes, painting and some, but I really wish you were here. You know, I..."_

* * *

Derek ran when he saw Meredith coming out of the hospital, he grabbed her by the arm before she opened the umbrella to get out of the covered area toward the garage and set her upright in front of him. The blond girl looked at him with a confused look but remained silent.

"I'll tell you something." the doctor said, "My mother's name is Carolyn, I have four sisters, I have nine nieces, four nephews."

Meredith surprised herself and smiled.

"I like coffee ice cream, single-malt scotch, occasionally a good cigar. I like to fly-fish. I cheat when I do the crossword puzzle on Sunday. Don't tell Katie that. She thinks I'm a crossword puzzle genius."

They both laughed low.

"I never dance in public." informed, "Hum… Favorite novel: The sun also rises. Favorite band: The Clash. My favorite color is blue… Indigo. The scar right here on my forehead…" he said pulling out his hair to show a small scar near the scalp, "That's why I don't ride motorcycles anymore. And I live in a trailer with my daughter. All that land is mine. I have no idea what I'm gonna do with that."

Meredith was just smiling in surprise.

"And now you're gonna meet the most important person in my life. Remember I said she'd love you?"

The intern just nodded, smiling.

"Let's pick her up at daycare."

They entered the hospital again and walked together to the elevator.

"I hope you enjoy watching movies because we must have bought about 40 DVDs today." Derek said.

Meredith smiled as she stepped into the elevator. They waited until the door opened on the colorful floor of the daycare. The intern looked around, had never been there before, but her surprise was soon taken when she heard Katie's voice, which ran to her father and jumped on his lap to embrace him.

"Princess, this is Meredith."

"Is she that girl who was talking to me in your office?"

"Yes. She is."

"Is she your friend?"

Derek looked awkward.

"Yeah. She is."

Katie leaned her head against her father's shoulder and continued to stare at Meredith.

"She has your eyes." the intern said.

"Yeah. People often say that." Derek said smiling, "But let's go."

They walked to the elevator and went in together.

"Meredith will watch the movies with us tonight." Derek said as the door closed.

"Why?" Katie asked.

"Because, princess, she wants to meet you."

"Why?"

"Because we have to make friends in Seattle." Derek said, kissing her daughter's face.

"If you don't want me to go..."

"No. You can come." Katie said, "Why don't you call your mother, too?"

The elevator door opened on the ground floor and they went out together.

"You said it was just you and your mother. You should call her to come with us."

Derek laughed as he walked with his daughter on his arms until he left the hospital.

"What is it?" Katie asked.

"Her mother's very famous, sweetie. She'd not wanna get in our trailer."

"Is your mother famous as Sandra Bullock, Julia Roberts, Julianne Moore?"

They laughed. Meredith opened the umbrellas.

"Her mother's a famous **surgeon**." Derek explained as they walked to the car, "Ellis Grey is her name."

Derek put his daughter on the floor, opened the backseat door, and waited for the girl to enter. Then the front seats were taken over by him and Meredith.

"Have you chosen what we're gonna watch?" Derek asked as he pulled the car out of the garage.

"Not yet." Katie looked at the cover of some DVDs, "Meredith, what do you wanna watch?"

"Whatever you choose."

"Do you like Star Wars? Look. We bought all the DVDs." the girl said.

"Do you like Star Wars?" Meredith asked in surprise.

Derek was silent.

"Yes. Mommy loves it."

"We can watch Star Wars if you want." Meredith said.

"So let's watch Star Wars."

"Pick another movie." Derek said.

"But Daddy..."

"No. It's all right. We can watch Star Wars." Meredith said, "It's gonna be fun."

When they arrived at the trailer, Meredith was surprised by the place where Derek lived. It seemed perfect. A piece of land in the upper reaches of Seattle where she could see the best view of the city judging by the tranquility of the place. They got into the trailer, Katie quickly left the bags with DVDs on the bed and, after putting on pajamas, went out to talk to her father and Meredith, who soon volunteered to make popcorn for them to eat during the small movie session.

As the woman entered the trailer to use the little stove, Derek pulled her daughter by the hand and sat her on his lap kissing her face.

"So? What did you think of her?" Derek asked.

"She is cool."

"Cool how?"

"Nice."

"You liked her?"

"Hnnrnn."

"Good." Derek said, kissing the girl's face again, "I'm very happy."

They were silent for a few seconds.

"I'll see if she needs help."

"Okay."

Derek left his daughter sitting in the chair, throwing pebbles on the grass as he entered the trailer, which was completely filled with the smell of popcorn. He took the DVDs off the bed and put them in the closet while Meredith said how much Katie was a special child. Derek was proud to hear.

"She's much more special than you think." he said kissing her neck from behind.

"I'm making the popcorn." Meredith said, smiling.

Derek rolled her around the waist and then brought her face close to a kiss. Katie was surprised at what she saw. The smile of one who was going to tell news quickly faded from her face, so she closed the door quietly to sit where her father had left her.

"Ok. Enough." Meredith said, moving away.

Derek stepped back smiling. After a few minutes, they left the trailer announcing that the popcorn was ready. Katie's face was unfamiliar.

"Has anything happened?" Derek asked.

"I want my mother." Katie said as she entered the trailer, surprising the two people in front of her.

Derek and Meredith exchanged a surprised look and entered worriedly.

"Princess, what happened?" Derek asked as he sat down next to his daughter, who was already pressing play to start the movie on the small screen.

"Nothing. I just miss my mom."

Meredith sat on the other side of the bed.

"Look, I know how hard it can be for you." the intern said.

"You don't know!" cried Katie aggressively.

"What is it, Katie?" Derek asked, "What happened to you?"

The girl sat on her father's lap and laid her face on his chest. Derek exchanged a quick glance with Meredith, not understanding what was happening, then hugged his daughter.

"Let's watch the movie."

* * *

Meredith woke up and smiled to see the scene in front of her. Derek was sleeping peacefully with his daughter, also unconscious, in his chest. She smiled and sat on the bed. The film's credits were still playing on TV after it had started itself a few times.

Derek also opened his eyes and smiled to see the young blonde girl looking at him. He kissed his daughter's forehead and woke her up too. The girl sat on the bed with her hair disheveled and rubbed her eyes, still sleepy.

"Good morning." Derek said, kissing her cheek.

"Good morning." Katie said.

"Get dressed quickly to go to school."

"I'm still sleepy." the little girl said, sitting on her father's lap.

"Me too." Derek said, kissing her forehead, "But we have to go. What were you dreaming about that kept you smiling all night?"

"If I tell you, it'll not come true."

Meredith smiled with the philosophy of the movie Cinderella. Then Katie looked away from her father's chest to look around and was embarrassed to realize the woman was still there.

"She slept here?" Katie asked.

"Mnnrnn."

"Good morning," Meredith said.

Without answering, Katie got up from the bed and walked to the bathroom.

"Did I do something?" Meredith asked.

"No."

"I'll get dressed, too." Meredith said, standing up, "I mean, there's no way I'm gonna be in the hospital like this… I'm gonna be late too... Drop me at home to take a nice shower and clean clothes."

Derek brought his face close to hers and lightly kissed her lips.

"There's juice in the refrigerator, milk, and cereal in the closet."

Meredith walked there. Katie came out of the bathroom at that moment and walked to one of the closet doors to find something to wear. Then Derek came in, carrying in his arms the clothes he would wear that day.

Katie, wrapped in a pink robe, stopped in front of one door of the tight closet in the trailer and pulled out two dresses, which she placed in front of her to make the comparison.

"Uses the blue..." Meredith suggested, "Match with your eyes." she added, concentrating on putting cereal in three bowls of milk, "When you're in doubt, always use blue."

Without a word, Katie set aside the two dresses and picked up a black legging, a long-sleeved red blouse, and walked to the bathroom door, where she knocked.

"Hi... What?" Derek asked, opening the door with his shirt unbuttoned.

"I wanna change clothes."

Derek was surprised.

"Exchange."

"But you're in the bathroom."

Derek was silent for a few seconds until he understood what her daughter meant.

"Princess, Meredith's a girl..."

"But I don't wanna change clothes in front of her."

He exchanged a quick glance with Meredith, then pulled the towel to wipe his hair as he left the bathroom for his daughter to enter.

"It's nothing with you." he said, kissing Meredith's face, "I promise."

"Okay."

"Can I get one of these cereals?"

"Sure."

Derek grabbed one of the cereal bowls and closed the buttons on his shirt. After a few seconds, Katie came out of the bathroom fully clothed and pulled on her black boots. Derek handed her one of the cereal bowls and she took it.

* * *

Mark and Kathleen were surprised to see Addison coming into the kitchen for breakfast. They, who spent the night with her, exchanged glances and watched in silence as Addison walked to the closet and retrieved a box of cereal. That used to be Katie's favorite, because it was colorful and shaped like bears.

"Are you gonna work today?" Mark asked, looking her up and down.

"Mnnrnn... One day as crazy and the other day life needs to return to normal." Addison said, opening the refrigerator door.

"You're not acting like crazy." Kathleen said.

"Oh, I'm not? So why do I have a psychiatrist here in my kitchen?" she asked, mixing the two ingredients together.

The redhead laughed, but Mark and Kathleen were silent.

"It was supposed to be funny..."

"Addie, don't you wanna talk about it?" Kathleen asked.

"I said no." Addison said, sitting down at the table with them, "And look... I'm not gonna pay your fees because I didn't call you here."

"I'm not charging you."

"I'm not crazy either. I've put the phone in place."

"Did you switch on your cell phone? It's full of Richard Webber's calls." Mark said, "You should return."

"What I least need is to travel to take care of the patient." Addison said.

She took a few spoonfuls of cereal to her mouth until the phone rang in the living room. Quickly Addison got up and ran to the room. Mark and Kathleen followed.

"Hello!" she said, her heart racing.

"Addison, I finally got to talk to you!"

"Dr. Webber?"

"Yes."

She put her hand on her chest, breathing out.

"I've been trying to talk to you since yesterday..."

"Richard, I can't talk about work. I'm almost too late to leave."

"I need you in Seattle."

"I'm sorry, Richard. I can't."

"I have a position for you as head of my neonatal department..."

"I'm sorry..."

"I thought you'd wanna work in the city where your daughter is."

Addison fell on the sofa.

"Addie..." Mark said.

"Addison?" Richard asked.

"Hi... I... Richard, are you sure?"

"Yes. They've been here a few weeks."

"Why didn't you call me earlier?"

"I didn't know you didn't know..."

"I'm going to Seattle right now."

Addison hung up and turned to Mark and Kathleen, who waited anxiously.

"What's it?" Kathleen asked.

"I need a ticket to Seattle."

"Has something happened?" Mark asked.

"Derek has gone to Seattle with Katie and he's at **all** that time working at Richard's hospital. I'm gonna see my daughter. I'm going to Seattle."

"Addison, calm down." Mark said, following her up the stairs, "You can't travel like that..."

"How I can't travel like that if at six weeks ago I wanna know the whereabouts of my daughter?"

She went into the closet and took out a small suitcase.

"Why didn't Richard call you earlier?" Kathleen asked.

"For obvious reasons. He thought I knew Derek was there with Katie." Addison said, tossing some clothes inside without tidying up.

"Oh really?! And how did he find out now?" the therapist asked.

"I don't know, Kathleen... What matters is that he called and now I know where my daughter is. I think that's gonna be a week, right?" she asked, pointing at the suitcase.

The redhead closed the suitcase and walked to Katie's room.

"I'll go with you." Mark said.

"You're not going! If Derek sees you with me, he'll not let me get close to her. I'm going alone."

"Addison..."

She took the plush white owl and put it inside her purse.

"I know how to take care of myself... I'll send you the news."

"**I**'ll go with you." Kathleen said as Addison retrieved the suitcase from her bed.

"No one's going with me." she said, dragging her luggage through the corridor, "I told you I'm sending news."

"But..."

"Look, I'm not gonna make any scandal with your brother. I just wanna see my daughter."

She stopped in front of the door and Mark took the suitcase from her hand.

"Mark, I already told you..."

"I'll take you to the airport."

Addison smiled.

"I'm going too." Kathleen said, "Your cell phone's ringing." she said, looking at the cell phone screen in her sister-in-law's hand.

"It's on in silent mode." Addison said, answering, "Hi."

"Addison, dear..."

"Who's talking?" Addison asked.

"It's me, Adele Webber. Richard told me you'd be in town and asked me to pick you up at the airport before my vacation trip."

"Yes. I'm going to the airport, still have to buy my tickets to leave New York."

"Do you have any idea what time you'll be in Seattle?"

"04:00 pm, I guess."

"Okay. We can get Katie in the daycare then."

Addison's eyes watered.

"I can't wait."

"Okay. Call me on that number when you get here."

"Okay."

Addison hung up.

"Adele Webber asking what time I'll be in Seattle." Addison said, wiping her tears.

They leave for the airport and stood together until they hear the calling for the flight.

_"First call for flight 737 with landing in Seattle."_

Addison roses, as did Mark and Kathleen.

"It's my time."

"Call us as soon as you arrive." Mark said.

"All right."

"Good luck." Kathleen said, hugging her.

"Thanks."

Addison hugged Mark sharply, then walked with her small suitcase to the small line to get on the plane. After she handed the ticket to the commissioner, she looked back and smiled waving at her sister-in-law and her friend. Then she went on her way. At that moment, Mark couldn't but think that was the last time he could hug her. Eventually, the next time she returned to New York, it could be with Derek, after they made up.

* * *

Katie was in the daycare setting up a castle with the pieces of lego she had selected by color a few minutes ago. Her belly was already making some noise, indicating that Derek would soon appear there to take her to have something to eat in the hospital cafeteria. As almost everything caught her attention, when the elevator's beep touched, she looked to see if Derek would leave. Then a very strong shiver hit her body when she saw Adele leaving and beside her, the tall, thin woman whose red hair stood out when combined with the black clothes she wore.

At that moment Addison was looking around, while Adele walked to the counter to ask for information. There were few children, so soon the tears fell from Addison's eyes and a smile grew on her lips when she saw her daughter so close. The girl left the pieces aside and ran towards her mother who opened her arms to greet her in a hug, which took her feet off the ground.

Wrapping Addison in her arms wasn't enough, Katie missed her so much that she hugged her mother's body also with her legs, wrapped her arms around her neck. Reliving the smell of imported perfume that Addison wore was the best part of it, she missed that scent. Addison held her daughter as tightly as she could. She had the sensation of feeling the pulse of her little heart in her own chest.

When she opened her eyes, still with her vision blurred with tears, Addison saw Adele standing in front of her, a smirk on her face. She stroked her daughter's black hair and pulled her cheek to look at her. The blue eyes remained the same, as did the red lips and the softness of the skin. She gave a quick kiss to the girl's cheek and smiled.

"I was missing you." Katie said.

"I was also missing you." Addison said, looking into the girl's eyes, "I was dying inside every day... I love you so much."

"I love you too." Katie said, wiping her mother's tears.

"Mommy will never be away from you again, okay? I'll never let anyone take you away from me."

Addison kissed her daughter again and hugged her.

"Now you're going out with mommy and you're gonna tell me everything that's happened so far." Addison said.

"Come on, I'll take you wherever you want." Adele said, approaching.

Addison kissed her daughter's face again, then left the hospital with her in her lap. Adele took them to the hotel where Addison was staying and understood when Addison said she needed to be alone with her daughter. They had so much to talk about. As she entered the room, holding her mother's hand, Katie looked around in surprise. Lately she didn't have many luxuries, so she ran and threw herself into the huge, neatly tucked-in bed in the middle.

"I want you to tell me everything since you got here." Addison said, pulling off her overcoat to reveal a black designer dress.

Then she sat down next to Katie, who was pulling off her boots to cross her legs sitting on the bed.

"Daddy would not let me call you..."

"But you called me..."

"It was from his office, but someone came, and I couldn't finish it."

"I know. I listened to that message all night. Is your father furious with me yet? Did he tell you **why** he came with you here?"

"No... He just said it was adult stuff... What happened?"

"Adult stuff." Addison said, "Unfortunately, adults are complicated."

Katie rolled her eyes.

"Where are you guys living?"

"In the trailer."

"A trailer? Is your father living with you in a **trailer**?"

"Yes... You'll love it."

Addison laughed, shaking her head.

"You're sleeping here with me now."

"Why?"

"Because here must be more comfortable than a trailer, right?"

Katie nodded.

"What else? Tell me..."

"Daddy doesn't love you anymore, now he's dating an intern and her name is Meredith." the girl said making her mother shiver, "Her mother is famous, you know? She's called something Grey... I don't remember very well."

"Ellis? Ellis Grey?"

"Yes! That one! Ellis Grey!"

Addison took a deep breath.

"Did he introduce her to you as his girlfriend?"

"No. But I saw them kissing yesterday in the trailer." Katie said, "Then she slept there with us."

"She slept with you?"

"Mnnrnn..."

"And you... Do you like her? I mean... Is she nice to you?"

"I liked her, but I don't like her anymore."

"Why? Did something happen?"

"Hello! Daddy's married to you, he can't date her."

Addison couldn't help feeling the edge of relief. Katie approached her mother and hugged her again, this time sitting on her lap.

"I don't want you to divorce. I want our life to go back to the way it was before."

The girl kissed her mother's cheek, making her uncomfortable.

"Ah! I brought something for you... I was forgetting." Addison said, pushing her daughter away from her body.

She reached for her purse and then opened it to pull out a plush white owl.

"Heddie!" Katie exclaimed taking the plush and hugging it, "I was missing her."

"I know she was missing you too."

"And how's everyone in New York?"

"Everyone's missing you so much."

"I was also missing everyone."

"And aren't you anymore?" Addison asked.

"I was missing you the most."

Addison hugged her again.

"Tell me more... Where are you studying?"

"At a school near the hospital and I'm doing dance class there..."

"You told me there's a daycare there... Adele told me it's great."

"Yeah. I also liked it there. It was the only thing I liked, but now that you're here, everything's perfect!"

Addison smiled caressing her daughter's face. Her eyes sparkled with happiness as she smiled.

"Yeah, but maybe we don't stay long, honey."

"Are you going back to New York?" Katie asked, changing her expression.

"I have a working case here, I need to talk to your father, of course, but... Maybe we'll have to go back to New York this week. You come with me."

"What about daddy?"

"Daddy comes if he wants too, but..."

"I wanna be with you both." Katie said, hugging her mother.

Addison took a deep breath.

"I know, baby... I also want you to stay with both of us, but if it's not possible... You come back with me, okay? Unless you'd rather stay with him and..."

"I wanna be with you **both**." said the girl now puckering.

"Don't cry, baby... Look, it's not to cry." Addison said, wiping her daughter's tears, "I'd not have touched on this, we shouldn't be talking about it. Today is a happy day, isn't it? We're together here..."

"Sounds like a dream." Katie said, wiping her tears away.

"Yeah... Sounds like a dream. But a **happy** dream. Not for crying. We're here and we'll be together. I'm sure we'll make the best decision for you." Addison said, kissing her daughter's face, "Now, tell me what you wanna eat. What am I gonna order at the service room for us?

"Yup!" exclaimed Katie, stretching out her arms.

* * *

After many hours, Derek finally finished his surgery. It wasn't a complicated one. He washed his arms after the entire team left the surgical center and left at last when the patient was taken with Miranda to the post-op. He went with the resident and accompanied him while the chief was installed in a discreet room. As soon as he was out of the room, he saw Meredith leaning against the nurse counter in front of her. She was talking to someone on the phone and hung up as soon as she realized Derek was at her side.

"A lot of secret phone calls today?" he asked.

"Yeah..." she answered holding the black phone in her hands, "It's my mother."

Derek kept looking curious, hoping she would tell him more.

"She isn't traveling." the intern said surprising him, "She isn't writing a book. She isn't anything."

Meredith felt guilty, but she had to relieve herself of it.

"I've been lying to everyone… She has Alzheimer's."

Derek worried. He knew Ellis Grey for her fame, so he couldn't imagine that a surgeon with that fame might have that disease.

"How advanced?" he asked immediately, a few worried.

"Very. She's in a home, and I'm the only one who even knows she's sick."

He was more than surprised. He expected to hear anything in his life, unless someone like Ellis Grey lost his essence. Meredith seemed devastated by it, and he felt like he knew no words to comfort her.

"I just don't know what to do anymore, you know?" Meredith said, holding her weeping.

Derek took a few steps closer to her and reached out to stroke her face. Meredith entered the patient's room and was surprised to see that he was awake. She stayed there a few hours, then left him in the care of a nurse and went to meet Derek in the main hall. When she arrived, soon saw him sitting elegantly in one of the chairs with a laptop open on his thigh. She smiled and moved closer.

"Where's Katie?" she asked.

"I went to get her in daycare and was told she left with Adele this afternoon. I'll get her later, but before..." he said putting the laptop closed in the bag, "It was a long day. Someone out there has a steak with your name on it and maybe a bottle of wine."

"This is why I keep you around."

"So, we need to talk." he said looking at her.

"Wine first, talk later."

"You're taking advantage of Katie's not around to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me?" he asked with a smile on his lips.

Meredith laughed as Derek put his bag on his shoulder and she slipped on her coat.

"I don't usually like children but, believe me, I like your daughter." Meredith confessed.

Derek smiled and began to straighten the beige overcoat that she wore while she looked at his face closely.

Addison arrived at the hospital bringing Katie by the hand at that very moment. Unintentionally she looked away and met her husband, adjusting the young woman's overcoat as he used to do with her in the cold days in New York. "_**So, that was the intern…"**_ she through, "_**The Ellis Grey daughter?"**_. She looked the other way and saw that Katie was concentrating on trying to download an app on her cell phone. They had come there to get the girl's backpack who had stayed in the daycare when they left hours ago.

When she saw they were about to leave, Addison sat her daughter in one of the waiting chairs and kissed her on the cheek.

"Stay here. Mommy'll back soon."

She removed the black gloves from her hands and raised one eyebrow when she saw that her husband had noticed her.

"Meredith, I am so sorry." he said leaving the girl misunderstanding as he watched his wife approach like she was in a fashion show, stepping confidently over her heeled shoes.

Addison stopped in front of her husband and smiled wryly at him.

"Addison? What are you doing here?" he asked.

"You'd know if you'd bothered to return any one of my emails, or my phone calls. Oh! Forgot it. You must have thrown away your old cell phone."

She looked at the girl next to her and looked her up and down.

"Hi, I'm Addison Shepherd." She said reaching out to her.

"Shepherd?" Meredith asked, squeezing her hand.

Derek swallowed.

"Mommy, I did it! Look!" Katie exclaimed, showing the screen of her cell phone to her mother with a smile on her face.

"That's cool!" Addison smiled at her daughter.

Then she turned with the same smile to the girl in front of her.

"Oh, and you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband."

A few seconds of silence passed. Meredith rushed out as fast as she could. Derek wanted to go after her, but both Addison and Katie looked at him.

"Baby, sit there in that chair. Mommy and daddy need to talk." Addison said.

Katie nodded and sat down in the chair her mother had left earlier.

"Addison, what are you doing here?" Derek asked angrily.

"Your hair's different." she said as if she had not heard the question.

"A lot of things are different."

"It's longer. I like it. It's very Russell Crowe." she said, reaching out to touch.

Derek pushed her away.

"What are you doing here?" he asked again.

Addison took a deep breath.

"What are **you** doing here?" she asked, "You just pick up my daughter and leave everything… Your house, your practice, your friends? You had a life in Manhattan."

"**Had**." he remarked.

"And now you have a girlfriend in Seattle?" she asked in an ironic tone, "She seems… Sweet."

"The ice you're on… Thin." Derek said.

"She's young. That whole wide-eyed, _'Oh, he's a brain surgeon!'_ thing happening, but still sweet." Addison said.

"What did you say to Katie?"

"I? No... I didn't say anything. I didn't have time. She saw you two kissing in the trailer."

Derek was surprised.

"Which is what you're going for, right?" she asked as he walked away, "The anti-Addison..."

Derek stopped and turned to his wife.

"If you came out here to try to win me back, you can forget about it."

"I did." Addison said, who laughed ironically, "I flew all the way across the country to reminisce over wedding photos, get drunk, fall into bed, make you realize you can't live without me. Relax, Derek. Not everything in life is about you." she informed, "I'm here for work. I'm helming the TTTS case you guys admitted last week. And **of** **course**, I'll take my daughter you took from me. She will return with me to civilization, where she lives in Manhattan and not in a can of sardines."

"Richard knew you were coming out here?"

"He asked me to come. Didn't he tell you?"

"No! He didn't."

"Oh! Surprise!" Addison said sarcastically, "The hair, you know..." she said moving closer to his ear, "I always had a thing for Russell Crowe." whispered.

Their attention was taken by the group of interns who came in bringing Joe to the side.

"Dr. Shepherd! He collapsed!" Izzie said, appearing in the hall from inside the hospital.

Derek ran and didn't fail to notice that Cristina and George were staring in surprise at Addison, who was approaching Katie.

"Meredith!" he said, approaching the intern who accompanied his friends to the ER.

"Go away!" she said.

"Just wait! We should discuss this!"

"Here's a thought: NO! Quit follow me!"

"At least let me explain."

"Explain? Do you know when you should've explained? The night we met in the bar, before any of the rest of it. Yeah, that would've been a good time to discuss this."

"Look, I know how do you feel."

Meredith stopped in the middle of the corridor as her friends followed and turned furiously to him.

"Do you? Somehow I doubt it." she said, "Because if you did, you would shut up and turn around and go back inside, because you would realize that I am this close to killing you with my own hands!"

Derek stood still as she made her way to the ER. He turned around and went to find Addison. The nurse in the main hall informed him that she had asked for Richard and then entered the hospital. Then he walked to the elevator and went downstairs where he could find his wife and daughter in the chief's office.

Before he even entered the room, he could hear the sound of Addison's spontaneous laughter, along with Richard and Katie's. When he opened the door, she found Katie sitting on her mother's lap, laughing in front of the chief of surgery who was sitting on his comfortable chair. Addison stopped laughing as soon as she saw her husband, and was embarrassed. Derek closed the door.

"Well, I'll be back in the morning to report for duty and you…" Addison said, kissing the hand of his mentor whom she had not seen in years, "Get some rest. Come on, Katie?"

"See you later, princess." Derek said as he kissed his daughter's face.

Addison helped her daughter to her feet and came out holding her hand. Derek waited to make sure his wife and daughter were away, then he closed the door and turned to the chief.

"What's she doing here?" he asked.

"You and I both know she's the best in the field." Richard said, "Bring Addie out was a business decision, nothing personal."

"Oh, well! What a relief!" Derek said ironically, "It's not personal. It's personal to me!"

"The working of my surgical unit doesn't have anything…."

"Don't include my wife!"

"Don't include your **private life**!" Richard exclaimed.

Derek was silent, looking at the chief.

"Burke will act as chief of surgery until I'm back on my feet." Richard said.

"You gave chief to Burke?" Derek asked in surprise.

"As I said, there's no room for personal in being chief."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"How long have you been sleeping with an intern?"

Derek silenced himself, shook his head. Then he smiled wryly. Finally, Addison's presence was clear.

"So, I guess part of being chief is personal."

Richard didn't answer, just raised his hand to his forehead.

"Close the door when you way out."

Derek left and closed the door carefully. Then he crossed the hospital street for a whiskey, but he faced the door closed. He took a deep breath, pacing from side to side, sat down on the bench in front of him, and lost his time watching the rainfall. Then he picked up his car and drove to the best hotel in town, where he was **sure** Addison was staying. Forbes Montgomerys always stayed at the best hotel anywhere.

"I want a key from my room..." he said, inventing a lie to the receptionist, "Actually my wife has the key from our room and she came before. She must be asleep by now, I don't wanna bother knocking on the door, you know? We have a kid and if she wakes up..."

"Sorry, sir, but I can't release keys like that."

"Sure."

He took out his wallet and took out his ID card from inside.

"You can check my documents and my wife's name on the reservation. It's Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd... Shepherd is my name."

The receptionist checked the computer.

"It's the presidential suite." Derek said assuredly.

The Montgomerys always occupied the best rooms.

"All right." the receptionist said, "I'm gonna release a reserve key to you, sir, but you're gonna have to sign that document."

She put some papers in front of him. He nodded, putting his wallet back in his pocket, then signed the papers.

"Here it is." the girl said, holding out the key.

"Thank you."

"Have a good night."

"Thank you."

He walked to the elevator and climbed to the top floor. When he entered the room, he saw the light was off. Addison was lying in the middle of the bed with the many sheets covering her body. Katie had her arms and legs wrapped around her mother's body, hugging her tightly as her face was pinned to the redhead's thin neck. They slept peacefully.

Derek didn't sit there in a chair. After spending some time looking at his wife asleep with his daughter in her arms, he left the room and returned to his trailer, where he stayed up all night thinking about his life. It was obvious that at some point he would have to face Addison, but he was avoiding it and still didn't feel prepared for that confrontation. Looking down at the small sunroof, he saw the dark, rainy night turn into a grey, cloudy day with fine rain. Just sat on the bed, ran his hand over his face and walked to the bathroom to brush his teeth and prepare for a new day of work.

When he arrived at the hospital, he soon went to his office to put on his uniform and went out into the hallways to see what his day patients would be. Burke was already one step ahead of everyone, appearing to be the new chief of surgeries.

"Hi! Good first day as chief!" Derek said, walking past his colleague.

"I'll only bee your boss for a few days."

"I'm well aware of Richard's day off. I'm the one who convinced him to take one, remember?" he asked walking beside his colleague.

"I do... It was yesterday." Preston said ironically, "You convinced him, he was okay and chose **me** to take over while recruiting your wife. She's a great doctor..."

He had a chance to talk to her early morning.

"Clearly, he has brain damage." Derek said as he entered an examination room.

"Or is it your **ex**-wife? I'm a little fuzzy on that."

"If she wants you... You can take her. She's great. And yes, we're separated."

"Sorry to interrupt, dr. Burke." Addison said, standing next to Preston, wearing a pink uniform with the black pager hanging from her waist and wear her coat from Mount Sinai.

"You're never interrupting." Burke said.

"She's always interrupting." Derek said.

"I was just checking to see if dr. Burke secured the in…"

"Intern you requested?" Meredith asked, appearing there unexpectedly, "He did."

Derek looked awkward. He looked at everyone with a frightening countenance. He couldn't believe that Addison had made that request. Burke smirked and walked away from the small group. Addison also smiled to see the desperation on her husband's face.

"Come on..."

"Addison..."

Meredith followed her silently down the corridors to the patient's room, then introduced her to the intern, who read the chart to accompany her.

"Defines TTTS." the redhead asked.

"Twin-twin transfusion syndrome… Conjoined fetal twins."

"Connected by…?" Addison asked.

"Blood vessels in the placenta." the intern answered.

"Meaning...?"

Meredith was silent trying to remember the answer.

"One twin gets too much blood, the other too little endangering the lives of both." Addison without waiting, "I'd expect you to know that Grey."

"You told me there wasn't much chance that anything could be done, but…" the patient said.

"TTTS is usually impossible to correct, unless you happen to be one of the handfuls of surgeons in the world who knows how to separate fetal blood vessels, which, luckily for you, I am. So we're gonna get you into surgery tomorrow. If you have any questions at all, please ask dr. Grey." Addison said, closing the chart, "From what I have seen, she is one of the hospital's most popular interns."

The doctor left and Meredith was soon after.

"I could've answered your question if had you given me the chance..."

"Chin up, Grey. I'm this tough on everyone, not just the women my husband sleeps whit." Addison said sarcastically, "Order an ultrasound…"

* * *

Despite Richard's numerous invitations to go to that hospital, Addison had never considered the possibility of being there. So, like the first day of anyone, anywhere, she walked down the aisles a few lost. After examining the patient, she entered the elevator to go to the daycare, to meet Katie, but soon she imagined that the exams were ready and she knew she needed to get back to work. After all, Meredith could look for her.

She was a little lost in one of the corridors again, without know where she could go, where was Richard's office and thinking if there was some room where doctors may rest in that hospital. Didn't expect when she felt a strong hand gripping her arm and pulling her to a less crowded place.

"Where did you leave my daughter?" Derek asked.

"I think it's my turn to hide her, huh?"

"Addison, don't play games with me..."

"Why else?" she asked interrupting, "Listen, Derek, we still have a lot to talk about what's going on. I still have not said **half** of what I have to say about you missing out on the map with my daughter. I'll never forgive what you've done to me!"

"And what you did to me was? Tell me... And what are you doing now? Did you demand Meredith as your intern? That's audacity on your part."

"Oh, come on. She came highly recommended."

"Right."

"Do you don't recommend her?" she asked wryly.

"No, I didn't say that."

"Just not for her medical skills... Because for others..."

"Dr. Shepherd?"

"Yes?" they both asked turning to the intern.

"Labs confirm what looks like abnormalities on the ultrasound. I think you should come and see for yourself." Meredith said.

Addison smirked at her husband, then turned back to the intern.

"Fine. Let's go." the doctor said, passing in front of her subordinate.

"Meredith... Meredith..."

"No!"

Meredith followed the doctor back to the patient's room, and soon Addison began to perform an ultrasound on the inconspicuous belly of the woman in front of her.

"Look." Meredith said pointing at the screen, "Bilateral pleural effusion with evidence of sub-q edema."

"In English, please." the patient said.

Addison was surprised at Meredith's right diagnosis, she knew some of her residents in New York wouldn't know how to give it.

"We've detected what looks like beginning heart failure in the twins. Don't be alarmed."

"Are my babies gonna be okay?"

"I'm gonna go ahead and take you into surgery now. Book an OR! Move!" she said rising up, "**Now**!"

She left the patient's room and rolled her eyes as she once again met Derek in the hallway.

"Are you running after me now?"

"Addison... Where's Katie?"

"There at daycare. She didn't know the way, much less the name, of her school. How do you do that to our daughter, huh? She doesn't even know the name of the school where she studies!"

"She's making a charm with you. Of course, she knows the name of her school."

"No, Derek. She didn't really know. I know Katie." Addison said, "Do you know the name of her school?"

Derek was silent. Then the redhead shook her head.

"It doesn't matter either. She's going back to New York with me and going back to the places she used to go to before."

"What time do we put it together?" he asked.

"At the same time we agreed that you were gonna disappear with my daughter for **weeks** without making a call. I was in despair, you know that?"

"You'd think about it before you got into my bed with my best friend." Derek said.

Addison was silent, looking at her husband.

"What?" he asked.

"Derek, do you have free time today? Because if you have, sit in your office, quietly, and think about everything that was going on in our life." she suggested, "Start wondering if it wasn't you who threw me into bed with your best friend... Better: wonder if you weren't there opening my legs."

"Dr. Shepherd." Meredith called.

Addison turned and followed the intern, leaving Derek confused. They entered the surgical center where the team was ready and the patient prepared. Addison approached and smiled at the girl, who she knew, was afraid. The surgical nurse handed her the scalpel and she made a small cut in the patient's belly and then began to work explaining each step of what she was doing.

Meredith was charmed during the procedure with how much she was didactic. Unlike all the other hospital surgeons who seemed to want to massacre the interns as much as possible, Addison was there teaching her the procedure she did as a cake recipe as if she were alone in the operating room. She continued to operate. After the procedure, she accompanied the patient back to the room and had a new ultrasound to see if everything had gone well.

"See? Just a small scar and your babies are doing very well." Addison said, wiping the gel on her belly, "And dr. Grey will be back to check on you a little bit later."

"Actually, I'd prefer it if dr. Grey was taken off the case."

Addison was surprised. He looked at Meredith, then at the patient.

"Why? Is there a problem?"

"She just reminds me of someone I don't like very much… Someone my husband likes a lot, particularly in lingerie. You understand."

Addison looked again at the intern, who was standing by the door, completely awkward and with her head down.

"No, no, I don't understand." said the redhead.

"Well, she's sleeping with your husband, right?"

Addison took a deep breath. Then she took a few steps closer to the patient.

"Ms. Philips, I lack dr. Grey's class and patience, so let me set the record straight. My husband didn't cheat on me. I cheated on him. So the wronged woman here… Dr. Grey. So I think you owe her one hell of an apology."

Meredith was surprised, as Addison left the room. The doctor left the patient's chart on the counter, then walked to the elevator. She needed to see her daughter, her heart beating fast. For the first time, she had admitted aloud that she had betrayed Derek, and that sounded vulgar to hear, no matter how much she knew within herself that there was nothing vulgar about what had happened between her and Mark.

When she stepped down on the colorful floor and looked around for Katie, she saw many children playing; some doctors, still in their lab coats, talking to their children. Then a hand stopped on her shoulder, causing her to turn quickly to see what it was about.

"Can I help you, doctor?" a smiling woman asked.

"Yes... I'm looking for my daughter. Katherine Shepherd."

"Ah yes. She was in room 3 playing." the nurse said, "But she didn't come back here, so she must still be there. It's at the end of that corridor."

Addison went to the hallway that was pointing at her and then saw her daughter through the entire glass wall in front of the room. It made her feel even more guilty.

Derek was sitting cross-legged and Katie was sitting on his lap. He was hugging her body while her head was lying on his chest. They were talking something Addison couldn't hear. Their complicity was always unique. That moment Addison realizes it wouldn't be so easy to convince Katie to go back to New York without him. The little girl laughed at something else her father was saying, and as soon as she turned her face, she saw her mother and smiled even more.

"Mommy!" she exclaimed, rising from her father's lap.

Derek's smile immediately disappeared from his face. Then he stood up as Addison entered the ballet room. Katie walked over to her mother and hugged her.

"Has anything happened?" the girl asked.

"No. Do you know what it is, baby? Mommy's finished here. We can go out and do something else... Let's go?"

"Come on!" Katie said, smiling, "Will you come with us, daddy?"

"No. I have work to do."

"Please..."

"Katie..." Addison chided.

Derek bent down to kiss his daughter's face, then walked away.

"Daddy…" Katie called, causing him to stop, "Aren't you gonna say goodbye to mommy?"

They were both embarrassed.

"Bye, Addison." he said.

Katie took her father's hand and pulled it.

"You have to **hug** her. Hugs." the girl asked.

"Katie..." Addison said.

"**Hug**!"

Derek pulled Addison by the waist and hugged her quickly against his will.

"Now you have to kiss her."

"Baby, that's enough." Addison said, "After… Daddy and mommy will do that. Your daddy's late, isn't he? Let's just change that outfit and go to have lunch in a cool place."

He watched as they walked away, and as they entered the locker room, he pulled away. Walking down the hall, he found Meredith alone in one of the examination rooms. He went in and closed the door even though it was on his face that he didn't want to hear it.

"One night, I park my car, and unlock my front door to go inside my house, and something's different. Nothing's different, everything's the same, but yet still… Something's different. And I stand there for a while… And then I know."

Meredith just listened.

"See, there are moments for me, usually when I'm in the OR, when I just know what's gonna happen next."

He took a deep breath.

"So, I go upstairs. As I'm walking down the hall I'm trying to prepare myself for what I'm gonna see when I go into my bedroom. I step a man's jacket that doesn't belong to me. And everything I think I know just shifts. Because the jacket that doesn't belong to me is a jacket that I recognize. And what I know now is that when I go into my bedroom, I'm not just gonna see that my wife is cheating on me. I'm gonna see that my wife is cheating on me with Mark, who happened to be my best friend."

Meredith was surprised.

"It's just so pedestrian, common and dirty, and cruel…" Derek said, "Mostly just cruel. So I took my daughter and came out here."

"And you met me."

"And I met you."

Meredith rose from the chair where she was sitting, then walked to the door. She was about to open and leave when she turned and looked at her again.

"Well, what I was to you?" she asked, "The girl you screwed to get over being screwed?"

Derek leaned against the table and folded his arms, shaking his head.

"You were like coming up for fresh air. It's like I was drowning and you saved me." he explained, "That's all I know."

Meredith denied.

"It's not enough. And what did you do for her to do that?"

"Did you hear what I said? She betrayed me!"

"You have a wife, and she's not easy to hate." she said, "On the contrary, she's beautiful, kind, and painfully incredible as a surgeon. So stop talking to me! Stop trying to explain yourself like you're my boyfriend! Stop talking to me any time!"

* * *

**_A.N.:_**_ I decided to update this story again. I didn't think it was necessary anymore, since people didn't seem excited about it, but I got a message asking for the update and decided to do that._


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